I’ve hit upon a fantastic idea

I’m gonna have a birthday each day of the year

Every 24-hours I’d celebrate

Partying hard with all of my mates (till very late)

Everyone would think I was a really cool lad

Wishing they had everything that I had

“Many happy returns Neal” they’d constantly say

If I had a birthday every day

By now I’d be about 15,000 birthdays old

And regularly showered with presents (e.g. books and smart clothes)

I’d spend my birthday money in Toys R Us

And get driven to and from it in my own private bus

Filled up with everything that I had just bought

All paid for by cheque – a pound sign, a one and five noughts

Despite my age I’d not be crinkled, wrinkled or grey

If I had a birthday every day

I’d be given enormous teddy bears

Stocks and shares

Batman and Robin underwear

A computer any time I liked

Ten giant TVs

Two mountain bikes

Seven birthday cakes a week

A gold clock, silver watch

Life-size robots that speak

Ice cream by the bucket

Sweets by the tonne

Absolutely anything under the sun

It’ll be fun, fun, fun

I’d always have the latest games to play

If I had a birthday every day

I’d be generous and caring

I wouldn’t be greedy

Donating three gifts a month to the poor and the needy

The cash I’d not spent?

I would invest it

The chocolate I’d got?

I would digest it

I’d never have broken toys only new

I’d never be sad or bored or blue

I’d never run out of things to do

No way

No way

No way José

If I had a birthday every day