I can’t play the recorder

I get the notes in the wrong order

I can’t cope with the flute

A whistle’s too tough to toot

I wish I could master the violin just like Yehudi Menuhin

But I can’t

And my singing is worse

Than my 90-year-old aunt

So

I just bang a drum

I’m no good you know

At the piccolo

I’m flat or sharp

When I pluck the harp

You’d plug your ears and shout “Oh no!”

If I tried a tune from my Dad’s banjo

And if I picked up a guitar

I couldn’t even strum

So

I just bang a drum

You see

To me

The drum sounds so sweet

I love the rhythm

I love the beat

I click my fingers

I stamp my feet

I send a shudder

Down the street

It’s such fantastic fun

So

I just bang a drum

When it come to the bass

I’m a total disgrace

My piano skills are poor

So I don’t use them any more

Everyone runs till I’m left on my own

When I huff and puff into my trombone

So

I just bang a drum

If you hear me on the saxophone

You’ll be bound to moan and groan

When I attempted the bassoon

I was banished to the moon

And sent to Salonika

For trying the harmonica

I’m really rubbish at handling

The cello and the mandolin

I am so bad at music

I cannot even hum

I thought “I need something new

To get me through”

So

I just bang a drum

You see

To me

The drum sounds so sweet

I love the rhythm

I love the beat

I click my fingers

I stamp my feet

I send a shudder

Down the street

It’s such fantastic fun

So

I just bang a drum

What do I do?

I told you

I just bang a drum