I’m the ultimate superhero

No job’s too big or too small

When danger threatens our country

Or if your cat’s stuck up a tree

It’s me you’ll want to call

I’m the ultimate superhero

If you’re a bad guy then I’m your supreme test

My legs and arms are wider than your expanded chest

You’ll recognise me by the golden U.S.H on my vest

And like my fellow superheroes I’ve a cape to help me fly

If you shot, bashed, squashed or smashed me I’ll never die

Though I don’t suggest you try

I’ve even made a Dalek break down and cry

I’m the ultimate superhero

I’m indestructible

Undefeatable

Incorruptible

Totally unbeatable

Ultra intelligent

Flabbergastingly fast

You’ll not see me wear an Elastoplast

Or a plaster-cast

I’ll stop muggers who mug

Robbers who rob

Kidnappers who kidnap

Fighting crime is my job

I’m the ultimate superhero

Superman’s a gentle pussycat next to me

Batman’s a beginner, a novice, a trainee

While Spider-man’s not even in the reckoning

I’ll spearhead the attack when danger’s beckoning

I pack the most powerful of powerful punches

I start work at six and never stop for tea or lunches

Do you know who the pick of the superhero bunch is?

Me - I’m the ultimate superhero

I’ve got a secret identity like all superheroes do

Who am I? Well, it’s a secret - so I’m not telling you

But rest assured I’ll be there when I am needed

When the laws of the nation are no longer heeded

I’ll be the first in the queue

To protect you

Beating super villains is what I do

So you can sleep safely in your beds at night

You’ve no need to live in fear, no

Leave it to me

To keep you free

I’m the ultimate superhero