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Laura
was a librarian
Suzy
a Sagittarian
Reggie
a Rastafarian
But
Charlie
Was
a chipetarian
Chips
were the only food he’d eat
No
salad
No
fruit
No
veg
No
fish
And
definitely no meat
He
was chokka block with chips from his head down to his feet
He’d
salivate and lick his lips
At
the thought of piles and piles of chips
People
said
“You’ll
turn into a French fry
You’ll
turn into a spud”
He
had more chip fat than the whole of MacDonald’s
Coursing
through his blood
And
once he’d finished his chip supper
What
would be his snack for later?
He
had no doubt about his choice
Another
chipped potato
He
was full of chips to the brim
Not
enough
Green
stuff
Or
vitamins
Went
into him
‘Cause
he ate
And
ate
And
ate
And
ate
The
mountains of chips stacked up on his plate
His
mum said he’d never live to twenty
(Never
mind make an octogenarian)
If
he went with his decision
To
remain a chipetarian
The
staff mistook him for a whale
At
the London Aquarium
He
was so overweight
He
couldn’t get a date
He
accidentally squashed eleven of his mates
When
the lake froze over in winter
He
was not allowed to skate
The
fire brigade had to cut him free
From
his front garden gate
But
he remained a devout follower
Of
the chipetarian cause
Shovelling
more chips inside him
Without
a moment’s pause
Scales
strained and broke due to his size
As
he changed into a giant chip
Before
his family’s eyes
It
was all rather strange
It
was all rather weird
Till
finally disaster struck
As
everyone had feared
Last
Monday he came home
Peckish
after school
He
ate a single chip then said
“I’m
feeling pretty full”
Then
came a loud BOOM and BANG
And
BANG and BOOM
Charlie
was in smithereens
All
over his living room
The
moral of this story
Is
clear for all to see
If
you don’t want size 60 hips
If
you don’t want to bust your zips
If
you don’t want to get blown to bits
Then
follow this advice from me
Chips are fine
Some of the time
But not for breakfast
Lunch
Dinner
And tea
Laura
was a librarian
Suzy
a Sagittarian
Reggie
a Rastafarian
But
Charlie
Was
a chipetarian
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