Our schools are shut

Our power’s been cut

We’re doing our nut

All stuck in this rut

The trains won’t go

The water won’t flow

Cars abandoned in rows and rows

The press is depressing and gloomy and grey

Severe weather warnings will not go away

All because of some crystalline H20

It’s just snow, snow, snow

We’re not Eskimo, we’re not Inuit

So us English can’t get our heads around it

We stay in our homes

Isolation zones

As inactive as stones

Call in sick on our phones

And we moan and moan and moan and moan

It’s agro

A no show

A national go-slow

And though polar bears were seen shopping at Tesco

And penguins are on your lawn dining al fresco

There’s no need for more tales of woe

It’s just snow, snow, snow

‘Cause though the wind blows

And we can’t feel our toes

And icicles dangle from everyone’s nose

And all our car engines have frozen over

And with gardens more white than the White Cliffs of Dover

Our worlds need not implode

It’s just snow, snow, snow

If we’ve got horrible colds and coughs

And all our extremities have fallen off

If football games are postponed everywhere

We need not throw our hands into the air

Contemplating our deepest despair

‘Cause though Barking to Bow Road’s one slippery snow road

We shouldn’t let ourselves get low

It’s just snow, snow, snow

Let’s not be dopes

And sit round and mope

Or roll on the ropes

Let’s learn to cope

And not get bitter

But pray for that gritter

Think `thaw’ and hope

Or build a ski slope

Don’t face defeat

Turn up the heat

Guys wear warm underwear - defrost your meat

Though an iceberg has just destroyed Walthamstow

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse won’t be here in a mo’

‘Cause it’s not Armageddon we’re facing you know

It’s just snow, snow, snow