Mr Smellyperson is that a two-tone shirt or stains?

Mr Smellyperson how come you always find me?

Mr Smellyperson I so know when you're behind me

Mr Smellyperson invading my personal space

Mr Smellyperson use Right Guard, join the human race

Mr Smellyperson slowly emptying the carriage

Mr Smellyperson you must have a difficult marriage

Mr Smellyperson how does your office cope?

Mr Smellyperson S.O.A.P, say it: Soap

Mr Smellyperson you'll not come up smelling of roses

Mr Smellyperson also blessed with halitosis

Mr Smellyperson when we first met something hit me

Mr Smellyperson when we first met something bit me

Mr Smellyperson remove your armpit from my face

Mr Smellyperson wearing eau de pilchard paste

Mr Smellyperson with B.O. lasting and lingering

Mr Smellyperson which orifice d'you stick your finger in?

Mr Smellyperson full of stinky, nasty, rotten smells

Mr Smellyperson remember: Bath's not just somewhere next to Wells

Mr Smellyperson please explain something I don't get:

How come absolutely everyone else on the 7.42 from Hackney Downs to Liverpool Street Station apart from you knows that you reek of compost heaps, mouldy blue cheese and stale sweat?