It's the thing cool people do

Why see each other face to face

Or wine and dine in an expensive place

Like the rest of the human race?

I'll create a message then press `send'

To my remote romantic friend

With a smiley

A wink

A lol

And an `X'

This truly is the safest sex

What does my Nokia say when we connect?

I wanna to have txt with u

I want you there in the morning when I wake

And at night when I go to bed

But though you're dear to me

U don't have to be near to me

Just SMS me your photo instead

It's true to say we both agree

That talking's so 20th century

I don't want to hold hand or sit next to you

I'd rather fire off tonnes of txts to u

Over the airwaves

Through the ether

Via space satellites

Saying I'll never leave ya

And if you're feeling sad and lonely

No problemo but please don't phone me

Just check your contacts and then look up

My number so that we can hook up

I'll txt u though it's all spelt wrong

I'll txt u till my credit's gone

I'll txt u 'cause it's good to chat

I'll txt u till my batteries flat

I'll txt u from Uzbekistan

I'll txt u till the networks jam

I'll txt u in your hour of need

I'll txt u till my fingers bleed

I'll txt u with excruciating RSI

I'll txt u till my mobile dies

It really does blow off my socks

To find your name in my inbox

'Cause I think you're so beautiful

But we don't have to meet at all

So I won't make a booty call

I'll just have txt with u

When you switch on your Blackberry or your I-phone

Be sure that you're messaging my phone

I wanna have txt with u