Don't say I'm peculiar

Don't say I'm odd

But I like to have a bath

With my dog

Why go walkies or down the pub

When we can be relaxing in a warm tub?

Just me and Fido

In our own private lido

Not worrying about what the gossipers say

And ignoring the letters from the RSPCA

He shampoos my hair

I soap his paws

He washes my back

I clean his claws

Folks warn me “Neal! You'll get in trouble

“Playing with your pet pooch between the bubbles”

I say “Don't be daft”

While soaking in the bath

With my dog

It's great to go for a dip

And build our `man's best friend' relationship

He gives a gentle bark

Then I let a out a sigh

There's no room for doggy paddle

Though it's often fun to try

With a dash more dexterity he could even wipe me dry

He rubs my feet

I sponge his tail

He scrubs my ears

I clip his nails

Human and canine

Are content and fine

With candle light and white wine

Submerged and entwined

It's what Sunday nights were made for

It's that special time we crave for

I kick the cat out

Lock the front door

When I have a bath

You'll hear him woof

And hear me laugh

When I have a bath

With my dog