 (Flash Not Installed.) You could’ve taken me to a romantic place You could’ve got me drunk first so I was off my face You could’ve shown more style, sophistication and grace Instead of acting in haste To lay our relationship to waste A minimalist approach via a satellite in space There must be better ways to disconnect To leave the ranks and defect To make someone feel they’re a reject But you dumped me by text
Though we had two whole years Your parting words didn’t hit my ears Only my phone And on our anniversary’s eve I couldn’t believe You’d contemplate that I smashed my mobile to smithereens with a baseball bat I melted your DVDs I trashed your flat Sat on your favourite hat I kicked your cat You’re clearly never gonna be a diplomat ‘Cause you texted my O2 To tell me we were both through To tell me that you didn’t want to continue You said it was the post-modern thing that people now do I thought women were the gentler sex Till you put the dis in disrespect Till you dumped me by text
Do you have an obsession With keypad depression A surrogate channel for your aggression An outlet for your tension Why yesterday did you fail to mention You’d be sending me those two words? And that might make me feel a wee bit perturbed Turn my life into a turd Leave me a total wreck Whose coffin you gonna knock nails in next? You could have just swung an axe towards my neck But you dumped me by text
Your choices were 1 – call him on the phone 2 – write him a note 3 – go see him at home It was a multiple choice You pick what’s best But there was no option 4 - dump him by text
Well they say people are losing the art of conversation But you’re hardly helping the situation By splitting us up like this A few prods of your finger And a flick of the wrist You burst my bubble like you’d burst a cyst I didn’t even get a goodbye kiss
You and me simply ended When these six letters were sended: U R
D M P D
Why thank you darling for your T X T
Ok you’re great At using technology But so crap At using to psychology
|
