Bookworm, Bookworm

Bookworm, bookworm
Head forever found in books
Not moving through the mud
Or dangling from an angler's hook

Impressing the vet
Impressing the zoo
With more knowledge
Than a college
And an infinite IQ

Bookworm, bookworm
Loving fiction, loving fact
Yes this worm has turned
Now eating stories for a snack

Always top of the class
Always top of the tree
A massive brain
The size of Spain
He's off to university

Bookworm, bookworm
It's how he's best described
Adores every shiny cover
And each interesting inside

Wormed his way into a library
Made a bookshop his new home
The cleverest of creatures
The brightest one I've known

Bookworm, bookworm
Books are all he needs
Want to be a brilliant bookworm too?
Then read, read, read
Read, read, read
Read, read, read
And READ!

Liger

(A liger is a cross between a male lion and a female tiger - true!)

Is she lion? 
is she tiger?
Is she neither? 
is she both?
Quite a picture
She's a mixture
She's the feline I like most

An illusion? 
A confusion?
Paws and claws
Fur, tail and teeth
Cute and pretty
Giant kitty
She's a most unusual beast

She's a muddle
A befuddle
Bits of this
And bits of that
She's a bungle
In the jungle
She's the craziest of cats

It's a Dogs' World

It's a dogs' world
Different types, breeds, shapes and sizes
Unusual dogs full of surprises
Excited dogs that wag their tails
Extremely strange dogs that miaow
Dangerous dogs whose bites are worse than their bark
Naughty dogs that burst footballs in the park

Dogs that are tall
Dogs that are small
Don't let slobbering dogs lick your face at all
That's totally disgusting and completely uncool

Terriers, Poodles, Spaniels, Alsatians
Labradors, Retrievers, Collies, 101 Dalmatians
A never-ending dog catalogue from so many nations

Dogs out walking
Frightening cats
Some wear coats in winter
But rarely socks or hats
Charcoal black dogs
Chocolate brown dogs
Silver grey dogs
Setters coloured red
Floppy spotted dogs
Silly stripy dogs
Tiny toy dogs
It's unhygienic to let dogs sleep in your bed
Buy them a basket or a kennel instead

Frequently
Dogs must scratch an itchy flea
And drool and dribble while you have your tea
Even though they've just eaten
If you're needing a best friend a dog cannot be beaten

Dogs understand much of what's said
Despite only having two words in their heads
Walkies, dinner
Walkies, dinner
Walkies, dinner
Walkies, dinner
All day long
There's a dog on TV howling along
To his favourite pop song
And a movie star dog in an advert for dog food
Never let dogs grab your slippers as they'll be chewed and chewed 

Rabbits, hamsters, parrots, gerbils, moggies, horses and goldfish are fine
But they cannot compare to a cute canine
Wild dogs
Lost dogs
Guard dogs
Lazy dogs
Superhero dogs
Careful don't tread in doggy do
You'll end up with a smelly shoe

Dogs nervously trembling at the vet
Breaking out in a cold doggy sweat
Sticking by us constantly so we don't forget
That when they say `woof!'
They're telling us they're definitely
The number one
Fun, fun, fun
Most perfect of pets

It's a dogs' world

My Friend Tummy Ache

My friend Tummy Ache
Is always there for me
He helped me miss my tests in spelling
Maths and history
He gets me out of washing up
And making beds each time
Although I feel him in my guts
I'm told he's in my mind

My friend Tummy Ache
Takes over when I'm stressed
Ok he hurts a little bit
Yet welcome as a guest
When I'm due at the doctors
Or the start of every term
My belly buddy shows himself
And my intestines squirm

My friend Tummy Ache
He feeds upon my fear
If I'm anxious or nervous
He is sure to reappear
He stops me doing all those things
I do not want to do
I couldn't see the dentist
'Cause he turned up that day too

My friend Tummy Ache
Is my ace in the pack
If I'm picked for cross country
There's no doubt he's coming back
But often Tummy Ache's worn out
Relaxing in his bed
So in his place...
My good mate Headache visits me instead

Hyeeeeeenas

They're a bit like a wolf
They're a bit like a hound
Have a laugh loud and daft
That's the sound of a clown

Ha ha ha ha
He he he he
Hy hy hy hyeeeeeenas

They have stripes they have spots
Live on African plains
It's their home where they roam
There's no doubt they're deranged

Ha ha ha ha
He he he he
Hy hy hy hyeeeeeenas

Sharpened claws on their paws
On their backs there's a hunch
Always eat lots of meat
For their tea and their lunch

Ha ha ha ha
He he he he
Hy hy hy hyeeeeeenas

What's the joke? No-one knows
But they laugh all the same
First they roar then guffaw
Then they laugh once again

Ha ha ha ha
He he he he
Hy hy hy hyeeeeeenas

Ha ha ha ha
He he he he
Hy hy hy hyeeeeeenas

Woolly Hat

When it's freezing cold in winter
With the ground a sheet of white
I put on my woolly hat
Before the frost begins to bite
It is cosy, snug and comfy
And it makes my head feel good
It is welcoming and warming
Looks much better than a hood

As it's knitted by my grandma
You won't find it in a shop
If you think that ice is not nice
It will keep you hot on top
My hat's stripy, sometimes itchy
With a bobble that's attached
Has my name sown in the pattern
So if lost I'll get it back

When I play at throwing snowballs
It stops my ears turning blue
I am happy, I am healthy
Though it's chilly, minus two
I say it's a fashion statement
Though it squashes my hair flat
I may sell my scarf, coat, boots and gloves
But not my woolly hat
 

Don't Scrape the Knife on Your Plate

I never squirm at the crack of thunder
A ghostly howl won't rent me asunder
I keep quite chilled when balloons are bursting
A car horn honks - you'll not find me cursing
But if there's one sound I totally hate
Don't SSSSSSSSSSCRAPE your knife on your plate!

My nerves hold firm when a lion's roaring
And with the din of my Grandad snoring
I'm not put out by cat's caterwauling
Or by shrill screams of a baby bawling  
But if you're wanting to be my best mate
Don't SSSSSSSSSSCRAPE your knife on your plate!

I'll not complain at a builder's drilling
A gurgle's fine when a bath's unfilling
If fireworks boom I won't get excited
Alarm clocks ring yet my ears aren't blighted
But if you'd rather not see me irate
Don't SSSSSSSSSSCRAPE your knife on your plate!

I love the toot of a blaring trumpet
That big bass drum – it's okay to thump it
I'm cool and calm even with doors banging
I'll not yell 'Help!' if Big Ben is clanging
But I revert to a jelly-like state
When you SSSSSSSSSSCRAPE your knife on your plate!

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSCRAPE!
 

Kangaroo Can

My kangaroo can't bounce
My kangaroo can't hop
He strains to elevate himself
Admits defeat and stops

My kangaroo can't leap
My kangaroo can't bound
I coach, coax and encourage him
Yet he sticks to the ground

My kangaroo can't vault
My kangaroo can't jump
I fitted stabilisers
But he falls flat with a thump

My kangaroo can't bob
My kangaroo can't skip
He'll utterly refuse to use
His brand new pogo stick 

So we go for a walk
Or for a gentle trot
If people stare then we don't care
My kangaroo still ROCKS!

Sadness

When Sadness came around to play
He frightened Happiness away
He knocked me flat with just a punch
He ate my laughter for his lunch
He threatened me for far too long
As I surrendered he grew strong

When Sadness knocked upon my door
My heavy heart fell to the floor
Creating nighttime in my day
Why was he here? He wouldn't say
He squashed my spirit, zip and zest
My mean and uninvited guest

When Sadness sneaked into my room
He spread his sorrow, doom and gloom
My teardrops dripped down from my eyes
I couldn't fight him though I tried
He bullied me, he fuelled my fears
Then for no reason disappeared

I don't know when he'll next attack
But one thing's certain...he'll be back

The Dog Ate My Homework

The dog ate my homework Miss
At breakfast time today
I managed to complete it first
I'm sure I got top grade
He suddenly felt peckish
In one gulp wolfed it down
I can't hand in my homework
'Cause I have a hungry hound

The dog ate my homework Miss
He shredded it to bits
Then munched it, crunched it, lunched it
Sent it to the dark abyss
It's stuck inside his stomach
It nestles in his guts
I can't hand in my homework
'Cause my mutt has scoffed it up

The dog ate my homework Miss
I hate to break bad news
Preferred it to his dinner
And his biscuits, treats and chews
I'm begging you believe me
I'm telling you the truth
I can't hand in my homework
'Cause my pet's a piggish pooch

The dog ate my homework Miss
It's never coming back
My literacy, French, science
Art, geography and maths
He certainly is sorry
I hope you're fine with that
But think I'd better warn you...
I also own a greedy cat

Mum's Imaginary Menagerie

I don't get it
One minute Mum says I'm a cheeky MONKEY
Then I'm a greedy PIG
If I eat my veg though she reckons I'll be as strong as an OX
And as tall as a GIRAFFE

She moans that I'm like a SNAIL walking to school
And as stubborn as a MULE
I tidied my room on Sunday (yes, tidied my room!) and she referred to me as both an eager BEAVER and a busy BEE

She tells me not to run down the stairs like a herd of ELEPHANTS
But to be as quiet as a MOUSE instead
When Mum caught me reading in bed at midnight by torchlight she called me a sly FOX

At the dentist I was her brave little LION
So I left there as proud as a PEACOCK
She yells at my sister and me “Stop fighting like CAT and DOG!” (though I'm not sure which is which) 

I think
If I keep listening to Mum
Then maybe
I'll grow up to be a wise old OWL like her

Animals Can't Write Poetry 

I tried hard to tame them
Teach them and train them
Was offering lessons for free
Though they woof, oink and howl
Roar, moo and miaow
Animals can't write poetry 

I planned to excite them
Thrill and ignite them
But sadly barked up the wrong tree
Though they might perform tricks
Give paws and give licks
Animals can't write poetry 

I passed paper and pen to a very keen hen
A thesaurus to a brontosaurus too
It was necessary to lend a rhyming dictionary
To a leopard at London Zoo
I rapped in time with sheep and swine
Read in rhythm to a gibbon I met
But if there's an animal that can write poetry
I still haven't found it yet

I hoped to inspire them
Guide, fuel and fire them
I took them to book shops with me
Though they bite, chew and gnaw
Scratch, tear, rip and claw
Animals can't write poetry 

I wanted to grow them
Sit down and show them
Develop their literacy
Though they might entertain
And have biggish brains
Animals can't write poetry 

If you gathered the animal kingdom together
You'd be disappointed because they would never
Never, never
Write poetry

My Armadillo Pillow

My armadillo pillow
Plays havoc with my head
It's scaly, lumpy, bumpy
I'm wanting soft instead

It gives me such a neck ache
I toss and turn all night
What's more it is a creature
That likes to scratch or bite

I know it is a strange thing
Unusual and rare
To rest upon a mammal
Whose claws catch in my hair

A kitten's kinda tiny
A puppy dog is too
A baby bear is bigger
Though can't break out the zoo

A cod could be quite slimy
A lion cub would roar
A monkey's far too funky
A piglet's prone to snore

But we've found a solution
That suits us both real swell
In bed my armadillo
Removes his outer shell
 

I Write

When I'm angry or feeling sad
I write!
When the news on TV is bad
I write!
When my train doesn't run on time
I write!
When I'm hooked on a crazy rhyme
I write!

When I visit a special place
I write!
When I want a smile on your face
I write!
When my fingers begin to twitch
I write!
When I suffer from writers' itch
I write!

When I can't speak the words I think
I write!
When my pen's fully charged with ink
I write!
When a rhythm's stuck in my head
I write!
Even when I'm asleep in bed
I write!

When I'm taking a morning shower
I write!
When I'm using my poet power
I write!
When inspired what do I do?
I write!
When I've something to say to you
I write!

Werewolf!

My big brother says he saw...

A werewolf in his bedroom
A werewolf at his door
A werewolf in our bathroom
That washed it's face and paws

He glimpsed it in our garage
And lounging on our lawn
On Wednesday night it watched TV
Then disappeared at dawn 

It slyly stalked our hallway
Until my parents SCREAMED!
It crept into our kitchen
To pinch a pot of cream

It tinkled in our toilet
Then wandered down our road
It growled and howled, made quite a row
While dressed up in my clothes

It stared back from my mirror
But now I'm most concerned
'Cause every time a full moon's out
I grow teeth, claws and fur...

We Want the Quagga!

(The quagga was a species of zebra, last seen at the end of the 1800s)

We want the quagga!
We want the quagga back
We miss his stripes
Of brown and white
He vanished just like that

We want the quagga!
Why did he disappear?
He seemed such fun
And hurt no-one
He's not been seen in years

We want the quagga!
Where did he wander to?
You won't spot him
In Swaziland
New Zealand or Peru

We want the quagga!
From South African plains
He'd quag and trot
Chew grass a lot
And shake his shaggy mane

We want the quagga!
No longer found in zoos
Although of course
Quite like a horse
A substitute won't do

We want the quagga!
So sadly hunted down
First he was chased
And then erased
Or moved to out of town

We want the quagga!
We love bears, wolves and yaks
Cows, camels, goats
Aardvarks and stoats
But want the quagga back!

Something Down the Plughole

There's something down the plughole
There's something down the sink
I felt a claw and saw a paw
While at the tap to drink

A weird and eerie creature
Composed of sludge and slime
It crawled up from the sewage pipe
And feeds on grease and grime

Emitting awful odours
It hasn't got a name
The Beastie from the Basin?
The Demon from the Drain?

Who knows if it is friendly
Or if it might attack?
Be careful when you're washing up
In case it wants a snack!

We pushed it with a plunger
We poked it with a knife
But still it stays, won't go away
The lurker in our pipe

We're hearing burps at midnight
We're hearing slurps at dawn
So enter our kitchen at your own risk
Don't say you've not been warned...