My Books & How to Buy Them

Enter the wacky, wordy worlds of my hilarious poetry books and you will be hooked. Unless otherwise stated below you can buy any of them directly from me to tie in with my visit to your school or library, from major wholesalers such as Askew & HoltsGardners, Bertram and retail and online outlets including my Amazon page.

Gorilla Ballerina (A Book of Bonkers Animal Poems)

My newest book, containing 50 new poems from me with gorillustrations by fellow primate, Julian Mosedale. Ever wonder where the extinct quagga went to, what animals you'd find if dad finally did mow that lawn, why there is a yak in the desert of Iraq and how an anti-ant anteater copes with his life? All the answers are found within the pages of this witty collection. Ideal for KS2 but for younger and older ones as well, it's published by Troika Books and costs £7 signed and dedicated if I'm visiting your school.


Invasion of the Supervillains (Raps and Rhymes to Worry the Galaxy)

An evil companion to 'Superheroes' in a full-colour comic book style and aimed at the same audience. Containing poems about hoards of hilarious villainous characters such as Pasta Man, Ms Psychobabble, Turbonaut, The Chewing Gum Kid and Stink Bomb - all hell-bent on conquering our entire galaxy.  Additional odes cover wider aspects of the supervillain genre including It's Good to Be Bad, Welcome to Supervillain School, I Hate the Sight of Blood plus special features include Data Files and Villainous Snippets, giving us more info on the characters, a pin-up page, vintage ads and readers letters. Like Superheroes it's illustrated by Chris White. £8, signed and dedicated, if visiting your school.

Here Come the Superheroes (Raps and Rhymes to Save the Galaxy)

A full-colour, comic book format collection of raps and rhymes introducing around thirty of the galaxy's newest superheroes plus a few of their evil adversaries. It's a must for Key Stage 2 & 3 boys (and girls), especially those not so keen on reading but loved by younger ones too. Characters include The Metal Man, Captain Polystyrene, Shine, Magnetic Me, Terrific Tot, Mega Slug, Micro Girl, Sister Speed, Bounce and many more. Additional Data Files cover protagonists' top powers, planets of origin and deadliest enemies while Super Snippets give readers further fascinating fun facts. The book was named in the Reading Agency's top 20 UK children's poetry books. Incredible illustrations by Chris White. £8, signed and dedicated, if visiting your school. See this fab review here.


Yuck and Yum (A Feast of Funny Food Poems)

A scrumptious book for all food lovers and haters featuring 50 side-splitting edible poems served up by me and my poetry pal Josh Seigal (25 each) and topped with culinary cartoons from Scoular Anderson. Aimed at Key Stage 2 children but just as likely to be loved by younger and older ones.  Our menu includes Bacon and an Ice Cube, Claude le Croissant, Traffic Jam, The Niciest Spiciest Curry, My Secret Chocolate Stash and so much more to get your teeth into. £8, signed and dedicated, if visiting your school. 


It's Not Fine to Sit on a Porcupine and Bees in My Bananas

It's Not Fine to Sit on a Porcupine (a BookTrust's children's poetry favourite) and Bees in My Bananas (winner of a Wishing Shelf Independent Book Award) are mixed-theme anthologies of my poems for Key Stage 2 but frequently bought by younger and older age groups as well. Containing 50 funny poems each with dotty, daft illustrations by Rory Walker and Chris White. Only Porcupine is still available, £7 signed and dedicated, if visiting your school.

SSSSNAP! Mister Shark and Odd Socks!

These two books are fantastic introductions to performance poetry for Early Years and Key Stage 1. Illustrated in dazzling full colour by champion doodler Chris White, both feature just one rhythmic, rhyming poem that children can join in with by calling and acting out the lines. £6 each, signed and dedicated, if visiting your school.