INSPIRATION!

Frantic fever

So exciting

From a single

Spark igniting

An incredible creation

That's the thrill of INSPIRATION!

Tingle, tremble

Quake and quiver

Feel your body

Shake and shiver

Brightest burst of innovation

That's the thrill of INSPIRATION!

Ideas racing

Thought commotion

Pure enjoyment

Mind explosion

Wild and wonderful sensation

That's the thrill of INSPIRATION!

Turbocharging

Heartbeat hectic

Superpowered

All electric

Reach unchartered destinations

That's the thrill of INSPIRATION!

Flashing brilliance

Rapid blood rush

Deepest insight

Burning brain buzz

Led by your imagination

BANG! ZIP! WOW! WHIZZ!

POP! ZAP! POW! FIZZ!

That's the thrill of INSPIRATION!

Bottoms, Bottoms

(Bottoms, bottoms)

Bottoms are best

(Bottoms, bottoms)

Bottoms are cool

(Bottoms, bottoms)

Bottoms are big

(Bottoms, bottoms)

Bottoms are small

(Bottoms, bottoms)

Bottoms for girls

(Bottoms, bottoms)

Bottoms for boys

(Bottoms, bottoms)

Bottoms are fun

(Bottoms, bottoms)

Bottoms make noise

(Bottoms, bottoms)

Bottoms are black

(Bottoms, bottoms)

Bottoms can't walk

(Bottoms, bottoms)

Bottoms are white

(Bottoms, bottoms)

Bottoms can't talk

(Bottoms, bottoms)

Bottoms are square

(Bottoms, bottoms)

Bottoms are round

(Bottoms, bottoms)

Bottoms are great

(Bottoms, bottoms)

FOR SITTING DOWN!

Just Checking...

Standing in the bus queue...I'm checking my phone...

Chatting with...I'm checking my phone...friends over coffee

Doing the weekly...I'm checking my phone...supermarket shop

Waiting for the...I'm checking my phone...8.23

Walking...I'm checking my phone...down the street

Even crossing...I'm checking my phone...the road (!)

...I'm checking my phone...Watching the TV

Eating breakfast...I'm checking my phone...lunch or dinner

Straining my eyes...I'm checking my phone...again

No idea why...I'm checking my phone...

What's my default setting?...I'm checking my phone...

While life's happening all around me...I'm checking my phone...

(PS What are you doing now?)

The Worrisome Worry Monster

I'm the worrisome Worry Monster

Increasing your levels of stress

I stalk your thoughts forever

And mush your mind into a mess

I'm the worrisome Worry Monster

A mental health bully and lout

I put you in a panic

While filling you up with self-doubt

I'm the worrisome Worry Monster

Invading your nightmares and dreams

When confidence is fragile

I pull it apart at the seams

I'm the worrisome Worry Monster

So scaly and spiky and vile

Unleashing apprehension

Until you surrender your smile

I'm the worrisome Worry Monster

Where am I? Not under your bed

Nor prowling round your attic

But living inside of your head

Camels

Part 1

I asked a dromedary camel

'Why are you down in the dumps?'

He answered rather gloomily

'It's cos I've got the hump'

Part 2

I asked a Bactrian camel

'Why are you down in the dumps?'

He answered rather gloomily

'It's cos I've got the humps'

Somebody Else’s Underpants

They itch, they scratch, they don’t feel right

It’s hard to breathe, they’re far too tight

I bought bright blue yet these are white

I’ve somebody else’s underpants

They’re not my choice, they’re not my style

I need to stand up for a while

Discomfort! Pain! It’s hard to smile

I’ve somebody else’s underpants

They squeeze my front, they squash my rear

Where are they from? I’ve no idea

You wonder why I shed a tear?

I’ve somebody else’s underpants

I might wear someone else’s shirt

Their jumper, coat, hat, scarf or skirt

But not these briefs that pinch and hurt

I’ve somebody else’s underpants

Unhappy they're below my waist

The owner clearly had no taste

What bigger crisis could I face?

I’ve somebody else’s underpants

For sure this clothing isn't mine

So if it’s yours drop me a line

Emergency! Call 999!

I’ve somebody else’s underpants

TyrannoSOREus

The dinosaurs tumbled

Over the cliff

Broke their

Legs

Arms

Bodies

And necks

Razor-sharp teeth

Were shattered too

So now

They're both

T.wrecks

Recycling Man

When you’ve finished with your bottles, jars, paper, tins

Bits of wood, grass, leaves or banana skins

Don’t dispose of them in your big black bins

Please give me a call

I’ll collect it all

I've a world-saving plan

I'm the Recycling Man

I’ll transform tonnes of rubbish into different stuff

Because I'm smart as well as extra tough

Chucking things away isn’t good enough

Be your planet’s pal

Dial my number now

I've a world-saving plan

I'm the Recycling Man

Such a rare superhero, I'm a unique breed

Piles of weekly waste become what you need

'Useless' to 'useful' ever guaranteed

Shouting: “Green is great!”

Mother Nature’s mate

I've a world-saving plan

I'm the Recycling Man

So bring out your garbage if I knock on your door

Hand it to me and then hand me some more

We CAN win this environmental war

Junk old to new

It’s what I do

I've a world-saving plan

I'm the Recycling Man

I Want to Marry Me

I want to marry me

It's what I want to do

Don't want to marry him or her

Don't want to marry you

I want to marry me

Though it's against the rules

Why have a husband or a wife

When solo's oh so cool?

I want to marry me

My path to perfect bliss

I'm keen to cuddle by myself

Then give my lips a kiss

I want to marry me

I'll purchase just one ring

Won't need a spouse inside my house

A partner's not my thing

I want to marry me

Then honeymoon alone

Ein, uno, un will be such fun

I’ll live life on my own

I want to marry me

That's absolutely fine

Take it as read - I've planned ahead

Although...I'm only nine

My Monkey's Poem

Ooo oooooo

“Ooo ooo ooo - ooo ooo ooo?”

Ooo ooo

Ooo ooo ooo

Ooo ooo oooooo

Ooo ooo

OOO!
OOO!
OOO!
OOO! OOO!

Ooo ooo ooo

Ooo ooo oooooo

Ooo ooo: Bananas

(Ooo ooo ooo)

Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo

Ooo ooo ooo

Ooo ooo oooooo

Ooo ooo

Ooo ooo: Peanuts

Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo

Ooo ooo ooo

Ooo ooo ooo - ooo ooo ooo*

Ooo ooo

Oooooooooooooooooo!

Ooo ooo ooo

Ooo ooo oooooo

Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo

Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo...

OOO! OOO! OOO!

(*Ooo ooo ooo ooo - ooo ooo)

Tap

Drip, drip, drip

Like a slow ticking clock

Drip, drip, drip

Never ends, never stops

Drip, drip, drip

Down the plug, down the drain

Drip, drip, drip

Then again and again

Drip, drip, drip

Every night, every day

Drip, drip, drip

Water dribbles away

Drip, drip, drip

A monotonous sound

Drip, drip, drip

In my head, rolling round

Drip, drip, drip

Hits the old metal sink

Drip, drip, drip

Call a plumber I think

Drip, drip, drip

Keeping me wide awake

Drip, drip, drip

PLEASE – FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

Drip, drip, drip

Like a slow ticking clock

Drip, drip, drip

Never ends, never stops

Drip, drip, drip

Down the plug, down the drain

Drip, drip, drip

Then again and again

Talk

When you have a bad day, can't cope any longer

You're weak and you're wobbly, wish you were stronger

When lying in bed is your choice recreation

Until happiness is your poorest relation

When you're feeling bruised, brittle, so close to breaking

Each step you're attempting's the toughest you're taking

When your stomach's knotted, too tight to be undone

Then lighten that huge load

By talking to someone

Brother Versus Sister

He said YES

She said NO

He said TO

She said FRO

He said WEAK

She said STRONG

He said RIGHT

She said WRONG

He said DO

She said DON'T

He said WILL

She said WON'T

He said HORSE

She said COW

He said ZAP!

She said POW!

He said YOUNG

She said OLD

He said HOT

She said COLD

He said A

She said B

He said SHE

She said HE

He said DOG

She said CAT

He said THIN

She said FAT

He said FLIP

She said FLOP

Till Mum said

STOP! STOP! STOP!

Heart

I'm your heart, your body's pump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump

Like a big internal drum

Nestled just above your tum

Working arteries and veins

Powering organs (e.g. brains)

24 hours of the day

When you’re young till old and grey

Feeding you from head to toe

Super living dynamo!

I'm your heart, your body's pump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump

Feel my rhythm, hear my beat

Regular as marching feet

At your centre, at your core

Shifting blood then shifting more

I’m love’s symbol, I’m love’s sign

Find me on your Valentine

If I stopped, you'd cease to be

So please take good care of me

I'm your heart, your body's pump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump

THUMP, THUMP!

Ten Lies Adults Tell You

“Too much TV will turn your eyes square”

“Unscrew your belly button and your bottom will drop off”

“The moon is made of cheese”

“Clouds are made of cotton wool”

“Swallow an apple pip and a tree will grow in your stomach”

“The Bogeyman will get you!”

“Eating your crusts will cause your hair to curl”

“Stop picking your nose or you'll pull your brain out!”

“You'll shrink if you spend too long lying in the bath”

And

“You'll never make a living from being a poet”

The Rougher, Tougher Pufferfish

I’m the rougher, tougher pufferfish

Pick on me if you dare

Much meaner than most other fish

Please handle me with care

Inflating like a spiky sphere

When threatened with attack

I’m warning you do not come near

Select another snack

I’m the rougher, tougher pufferfish

Scourge of the Seven Seas

Shoot poison to subdue you too

If you give me a squeeze

My reputation is renowned

Catch me? I wouldn’t try

You’ll meet a messy end my friend

Choose other fish to fry

I’m the rougher, tougher pufferfish

With weapons to reveal

So stick to sole, cod, plaice or skate

Next time you want a meal

Watermelon, Watermelon

Watermelon, watermelon!

Green and pinky red

Watermelon, watermelon!

Bigger than your head

Watermelon, watermelon!

Massive, heavy ball

Watermelon, watermelon!

Take one into school

Watermelon, watermelon!

Rolling down the street

Watermelon, watermelon!

Squashing people's feet

Watermelon, watermelon!

Eat it with your chips

Watermelon, watermelon!

Spit out all the pips

Watermelon, watermelon!

Love that healthy juice

Watermelon, watermelon!

Feed some to a moose

Watermelon, watermelon!

Got to try a slice

Watermelon, watermelon!

So good they named it twice!

TEMPER

I lost my TEMPER

I watched it go

Where it ran off to

I’ll never know

I lost my TEMPER

With one LOUD SHOUT

Opened my mouth wide

Saw it JUMP out

I lost my TEMPER

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Heard the EXPLOSIONS

All round the room

I lost my TEMPER

When I got MAD

Had many TANTRUMS

But this was BAD

I lost my TEMPER

Waved it goodbye

Now I’m so sorry

I made you cry 😢😢😢

I Want a Dog

I want a dog to stroke and pat

I want a dog don't want a cat

A perfect pooch is what I need

Don't care what colour, size or breed

I want a dog it would be neat

A man's best friend to spoil and treat

We'd play at football in the park

He'd woof and growl and sniff and bark

I want a dog I cannot wait

This pet would be my new best mate

He'd shake and wag his fluffy tail

Between his teeth collect the mail

I want a dog a happy hound

To make me smile when I feel down

I'd teach him how to sit and stay

And always walk him twice a day

I want a dog I can call mine

I've saved up for the longest time

I want a dog that's what I said

Or maybe...

I'll just buy some sweets instead

Dadtime Stories

He creates strange voices

Sound effects

Peculiar noises

With wild surprises

Shrieks of laughter

While we hope all stories end

Happy ever after

There are moments of intrigue

Thrills! Adventure! Action!

Gripping me like magnetic attraction

New ideas, new facts, new words, new places

Sharing some sad moments

But mainly wide smiling faces

And a closeness between us

That nothing can beat

When Dad reads to me at bedtime

Before lights out

Asleepzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz