Tipping Point

May 30, 2022 by Neal zetter

When does sad become happy?

When does slow become fast?

When does dark become light?

When does weak become strong?

When does young become old?

When does like become love?

And when does this poem end?

Is it here?

Here?

When you stop thinking about it?

Choosing a Library Book

May 25, 2022 by Neal zetter

At the library I couldn't find a book to read

The mountaineering books were out of reach on the very top shelf

The true crime books had been stolen

The Great Fire of London books were just a pile of ashes

The medical books were unwell and in hospital

Aliens had teleported the science fiction books to the planet Zogg

The cookery books had been eaten

The witchcraft books had been turned into frogs and pumpkins

The books about buses and trains were late arriving

I'd already read the books about reincarnation in a previous life

The dinosaur books had been extinct for millions of years

I didn't know the password to access the computer books

The anagram books were all in a ledmud

The books about time travel were stuck in the year 1731

The chemistry books exploded with a loud BANG!

The maths books had been cut into quarters

The origami books had been folded into paper animals

The geography books were scattered around the world

The horror books were covered in cobwebs and buried in the graveyard

The superhero books were busy saving the planet from a deadly supervillain

The football books were having a half-time break

Then at last I found a poetry book

And this poem was my favourite one in it

Odd One Out

May 18, 2022 by Neal zetter

Everyone eats meat for their lunch

But veg is what I choose

Everyone loves the team in red

But I support the blues

Everyone owns a mobile phone

I'd rather go without

Yet I'm no freak

I am unique

It's fun to be the odd one out

Everyone's listening to rap

But I prefer hip hop

Everyone's hair is short or straight

But I've long curly locks

Everyone's right-handed, I'm left

But still I never doubt

That I'm no freak

I am unique

And proud to be the odd one out

Everyone's wearing trendy clothes

But mine are clearly not

Everyone's playing in the park

But I think it's too hot

Everyone says I'm super strange

They mock me so I shout

'I am no freak

'I am unique

'It's cool to be the odd one out!'

Topsy Turvy

May 15, 2022 by Neal zetter

When I was a boy

I used to think

That if I kept digging

The longest, largest, deepest hole ever

I'd end up in Australia

Where everything would be upside down

I'd wonder why its population didn't fall off the Earth

Never to return

Were the kangaroos really jumping up

Or trying so hard to jump down

To keep themselves from drifting into space?

Were the koalas actually climbing trees

Or hanging on to them for dear life?

Then it occurred to me

Australians must think that they are the right way up

And everything in Great Britain

Is upside down

(I discovered in later life that I would have surfaced in New Zealand, not Australia. I also learnt about gravity.)

Is This a Poem?

May 07, 2022 by Neal zetter

Is this a poem?

It doesn't rhyme

it doesn't possess a strong rhythm

Is this a poem?

The verses don't have a regular format

Some of the lines are short

And some of the lines are a little bit longer

Is this a poem?

It's not about anything of great importance like life or death, love or hate etc

It's simple and easy to understand (I hope)

Is this a poem?

It doesn't tell a story

It doesn't contain any complicated vocabulary or imagery

Is this a poem?

Does it matter what it is, so long as you enjoy reading it?

Couch Potato

April 28, 2022 by Neal zetter

I'm a couch potato

And the life I live is tough

People always tell me

That I never move enough

Resting and reposing

Is all I have ever done

Exercising daily

Isn't my idea of fun

I'm a couch potato

So relaxed you'd think me dead

Perfectly content

To spend a year alone in bed

Wouldn't choose a marathon

Cycling or a swim

Wouldn't opt for skateboarding

Ju-jitsu or the gym

I'm a couch potato

Stretching out on your settee

Rather watch the telly

Than to walk from A to B

Won't take up a hobby

Or give something new a try

Everyone calls me a slob

(Spelt L, A, Z and Y)

I'm a couch potato

As bone idle as they come

What's my favourite hobby?

Simply sitting on my bum

A spud just veg, no arms, no legs

No wonder I'm a slouch

Yes, I am a potato

Lying here upon your couch

Escapologist

April 23, 2022 by Neal zetter

Tie my hands and feet together

Toss my body in a sack

Lock me in a darkened dungeon

Until all I see is black

Hang me from the highest wire

Handcuffs fixed around my wrists

I guarantee

I'll still break free

I'm an escapologist

Put a straightjacket upon me

Lower me into a well

Keep me cooped up in a cavern

Bind me with a magic spell

Drown me in the deepest ocean

I am sure I'll not be missed

As you will learn

I'll soon return

I'm an escapologist

Leave me languishing in deserts

While the sun scorches my head

Drop me in the icy arctic

Lost in landscapes full of dread

Trap me in a burning building

I'll be able to resist

Like a genie

Or Houdini

I'm an escapologist

Nan’s Biscuit Lesson

April 15, 2022 by Neal zetter

I LOVED baking biscuits with Nan

So many styles and sorts of biscuits!

Long, short, fat, thin, round, rectangular, square - even triangular ones!

Some topped with chopped nuts, icing patterns or rainbow sprinkles

Some smothered in smooth white, milk or - my FAVOURITE - dark chocolate

Some containing crinkly raisins, super-sweet jam or yummyscrummy buttercream filling

But every type of biscuit she created was TOTALLY DELICIOUS

And although each was very different from the next

They all had the same three basic ingredients

Flour, butter, sugar

I thought that was AMAZING

I always laughed when Nan used to say that her biscuits were just like people

How could a biscuit be like a person?

Now, I’m a bit older and wiser

I finally understand what she meant by that

DO YOU?

Whodunnit?

April 05, 2022 by Neal zetter

The detectives arrived at the scene of the crime

Victim A: mesmerised by dazzling rhyme

Victim B: developed a reading infatuation

Victim C: grew a fantastic imagination

Victim D: heard rhythms racing round her head

Victim E: swapped his TV for some books instead

And who was the culprit?

That stumped the whole police force

I’m sure that you know

It was the poet

Of course

Jekyll/Hide

March 29, 2022 by Neal zetter

Will you be caring, sympathetic

Loving, gentle, sweet, ecstatic?

Will you be moody, mean, malicious

Bitter, selfish, wild, erratic?

Will you be upbeat, cheerful, friendly

Happy, joyful, full of smiles?

Will you be cruel, foul, bad-tempered

Horrid, nasty, vicious, vile?

Will you inform me when you wake up

To give me an early warning

Will you be a Doctor Jekyll

Or a Mister Hyde this morning?

A Mum's Love

March 23, 2022 by Neal zetter

Soft, spongy, squishy

Snug, squashy, squidgy

Calm, cozy, cuddly

Cute, comfy, bubbly

Pink, yellow, whirly

Cool, crazy, twirly

Warm, wavy, slushy

Bright, bouncy, mushy

Deep, kindly, caring

Smooth, silky, sharing

Bright, brilliant, glowing

Heart-shaped, mind-blowing

Always, forever

Life's greatest treasure

One Welly Boot

March 13, 2022 by Neal zetter