TV Remote Control

Life is like a TV remote control

Press PLAY: to be born

FORWARD: to grow and develop

INFO: to begin your education

MENU: for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks

VOLUME (UP): to express excitement, anger etc

VOLUME (DOWN): for peace and quiet

PAUSE: for sleep, weekends and holidays

CHANNELS: to make any major decisions

REWIND: to activate your memory

And finally, STOP: when you sadly complete life's journey

But, if you've previously pressed RECORD

Everyone can remember you fondly after you're gone


(Note: SUBTITLES have been ON throughout this poem

Slime

Bake it by the kilo

Boil it by the tonne

Super dooper sticky

More than bubblegum

Eat it for your dinner

So yummy to digest

Cos everybody knows that

SLIME IS BEST!


Pour it in a bucket

Tip it in a cup

Stir it with a broomstick

Drink the last drop up

Great as burger relish

Or on fried chicken breast

Cos everybody knows that

SLIME IS BEST!


Glowing in the darkness

Luminous and green

Watch a horror movie

It's bound to be seen

Gargle with it daily

To guarantee fresh breath

Cos everybody knows that

SLIME IS BEST!


Store it in a sewer

In a rusty tin

Going trick or treating?

Smear it on your skin

Though some say it's disgusting

I love its gooey mess

Cos everybody knows that

SLIME IS BEST!

Space

Space is…

Longer than all the chewing gum that’s ever been made, stretched out in a single line

Taller than Earth’s entire giraffe population, stacked on top of one and other

Quieter than tomb of the the ancient Egyptian pharaoh, King Tutankhamun

More magical than the seven Harry Potter books added together

Full of virtually nothing but deep, dark black emptiness

But that’s why it’s called ‘space’ I guess

And I can’t wait to explore it in my rocket

5!...

4!...

3!...

2!...

1!...


Weeds

I love weeds

The garden rebels

Unfettered, untethered

Wildly winding wending pathways

Through formations of flowers

Standing as unimaginatively as soldiers on parade


Weeds are rule-breakers

Asserting their independence

Going where they choose to go

Growing where they want to grow


So don't pull them up

But instead, appreciate and admire them

For their originality

Their beauty

And their freedom


Weeds are like my kind of people

I love weeds

World Cup Wall Chart

It’s kick off at the tournament

I’m writing down the scores

Will England beat Brazil and Spain?

Will France win, lose or draw?

I’ve memorised the stars, the squads

Watch all the games they play

Then complete my World Cup Wall Chart

At the end of every day



You’ll find it in my bedroom

Just above my books and desk

Once glance and you can see with ease

Who is performing best

I’m listing leading scorers

Learn the countries by their kits

Want some World Cup information?

Well my Wall Chart’s full of it



It’s showing me statistics

Football figures, football facts

A ‘what you need to know guide’

About every single match

Come view my World Cup Wall Chart

I so love to pin it up

And dare to dream my favourite team

Will lift that golden cup

Just Be You

It's the smile on your face

It's the curls in your hair

It's the spark in your eye

It's the clothes that you wear


It's the food that you eat

It's the room where you sleep

It's the games that you play

It's the friends that you keep


It's the songs that you love

It's the books that you read

It's the dreams that you have

All your wants and your needs


It's the words that you speak

It's the things that you do

So why be someone else?

Just be you

Fly on the Wall

I'm the fly on the wall

You won't notice me at all

While I watch you from a distance, from afar

Unseen expert infiltrator

Skilful, silent, still spectator

More an extra than a major movie star


Like those famed master spies

I will track you with my eyes

Cos participation's really not my thing

As a solitary creature

In a crowd I'll seldom feature

Insignificant and small behind the scenes


I'm the one you won't find

Out of sight and out of mind

Just observing is what I am built to do

Tiny insect with a mission

To keep others in my vision

I'm the fly upon the wall looking at you


But now I've been offered alternative employment

So I'm taking the job...

As the fly in the ointment!

Train of Thought

My train of thought

Rolls along the track

It might turn into sidings

And never come back

It might hurtle round in circles

For far too long

Or stay stuck at a signal

Instead of moving on

It might whizz by so fast

I can’t catch it at all

I'll need another route

If it slows down to a crawl

But my favourite journey

Is when its throttle's fully flowing

Starting: Station Inspiration

Ending: Station Poem

Rubbish at P.E.

I'm hopeless playing football

At cricket even worse

When racing round the running track

My lungs feel fit to burst

At rounders see me flounder

I'm bound to score a nought

I'll never hold Olympic gold

I'm just not good at sport


The gym's a total nightmare

A swimming pool's no fun

I much prefer to watch TV

Or eat a sticky bun

I'm terrible at tennis

(That's hard court, clay or grass)

At physical activity

I'm bottom of the class


A climbing wall's too scary

The high jump ain't my thing

Legs turn to lead on trampolines

Can't face a boxing ring

So uncoordinated

My teachers all agree

I'm best at maths and science tests

But rubbish at P.E.

Late!

I could have been there but I'm not

I would have been there but forgot

Let's rearrange the date

...I'm late!


So call me tardy, call me slow

It seems I 'stop' instead of 'go'

I can't accelerate

...I'm late!


My life is littered with delays

I get held up, caught in a daze

I simply stagnate

...I'm late!


I'm sorry to do this to you

The bus and train were overdue

What phrase makes you irate?

...I'm late!


I didn't check my diary

'On time' fails to inspire me

Again you'll have to wait


...and wait..


...and wait..


..and wait..


..and wait..


...I'm late!

Longlegs

I saw a daddy longlegs creeping 'cross a wall

I saw a daddy longlegs gliding down the hall

I saw a daddy longlegs lurking by your bed

I saw a daddy longlegs upside-down, quite dead


I saw a daddy longlegs running round the sink

I saw a daddy longlegs drowning in my drink

I saw a daddy longlegs crawling through a crack

I saw a daddy longlegs ready to attack


I saw a daddy longlegs underneath a rock

I saw a daddy longlegs chewing someone's sock

I saw a daddy longlegs sitting on the stair

But I've never seen a mummy longlegs anywhere!

Chalk and Cheese*

Breakfast time, rusty nails

Toilet roll, humpback whales

Potage stamp, hairy ear

Muddy swamp, can of beer

Portuguese, heavy rocks

Totem pole, chicken pox

Violin, plastic bag

A to Z, oily rag

Football boot, buzzy bees

Cheese and chalk? Chalk and cheese


(*’Chalk and cheese’ is an expression given to two people or things that have nothing in common)

I Could Write...

I could write a poem

Standing in the shower

I could write a poem

At the witching hour

I could write a poem

On the count of three

I could write a poem

Drinking Earl Grey tea

I could write a poem

Standing on my head

I could write a poem

Once I’m stone cold dead

I could write a poem

In ten seconds flat

I could write a poem

...Just like that!


I could write a poem

Bareback a horse

I could write a poem

With a pen (of course)

I could write a poem

Running down the road

I could write a poem

Even in Morse Code

I could write a poem

Walking on the moon

I could write a poem

Very, very soon

I could write a poem

Climbing up a wall

But since you left me...

I can't write anything at all

Taking My Pen for a Walk

I'm taking my pen for a walk

I'm teaching my pen how to talk

My new ink-filled friend and me

Making fine poetry

I'm taking my pen for a walk


I'm taking my pen for a run

Together we're having real fun

Producing great writing

That's thrilling, exciting

I'm taking my pen for a run


I'm taking my pen for a stroll

Here's verse 3 - ‘cos we're on a roll

There's no way of knowing

Where our story's going

I'm taking my pen for a stroll


I'm taking my pen out to play

She always has so much to say

With thoughts never boring

Once ideas start pouring

I'm taking my friend out to play


I'm taking my pen for a hike

I tell her “Create what you like”

A super sensation!

Such imagination!

I'm taking my pen for a hike


I'm taking my pen for a ride

The journey? I let her decide

Rhymes, rhythms are flowing

Sheer brilliance, mind-blowing

I'm taking my pen for a ride


I'm taking my pen for a walk

I'm teaching my pen how to talk

My new ink-filled friend and me

Making this poetry

I'm taking my pen for a walk


Idioms*

A bee's in my bonnet

A monkey's on my back

A bat's in my belfry

And I can smell a rat


A flea's in my ear

A frog's in my throat

I've ants in my pants

Now someone's got my goat


There are butterflies in my stomach

I feel a total wreck

Cos these idioms are albatrosses

Around my neck


*an idiom is an expression that means something different than the literal meaning of the words would suggest