Cats, Dogs

There are lions on the lawn

Beagles bouncing off my bed

Panthers prowling down the path

Dachshunds dashing past the shed


Tigers tearing 'round the road

Spaniels sprinting to the street

Lynxes loping in the lounge

Foxhounds falling at my feet


Tabbies tumbling through trees

Boxers bashing 'gainst the wall

Siamese slinking up the stairs

Collies crawling 'cross the hall

And the weather is appalling

There's no snow or sleet or fog

But I'm clutching my umbrella

'Cos it's raining cat and dogs

Smile Like a Banana

Don't smile like a Cheshire cat

Or like a circus clown

Or like today's your birthday

And, please, please, please don't frown

Are you tense, strained and stressed out?

The best way to be calmer

Place one big grin above your chin

And smile like a banana



Don't smile like a hyena

Or like you are amused

Or like you're being tickled

Or like you've had good news

When life is getting far too much

Show teeth like a piranha

Then wear a cheer from ear to ear

And smile like a banana



Don't smile like you're saying “Cheese!”

Or like a World Cup winner

Or like you're off on holiday

Or eating Christmas dinner

Next time you're feeling pressure

Become a people charmer

Unclip them zips upon your lips

And smile like a banana



Want to be more mellow

Like that fruit that's coloured yellow?

Just smile like a banana!

Imagination

I can hear a pin drop

Rainy days that plip plop

Sister singing hip-hop

In my imagination

I can taste a choc ice

Crusty bread - a thick slice

Juicy strawberries - so nice

In my imagination


I can feel a breeze blow

Water in a stream’s flow

Frozen, crispy, cold snow

In my imagination


I can smell a strong cheese

Saltiness of vast seas

Earthy moss on dead trees

In my imagination


I can see a tube train

Last year’s holiday (Spain)

Visualise my own brain!

In my imagination


Every sense

Every sensation

You’ll find them too

In your imagination

Remember, Remember...

I shut my eyes

I cover my ears

Hide under a table

Petrified with fear


While fountains fizz

Rockets zoom around

My super-keen hearing

Magnifies their sound


As bangers bang

And barrages boom

I lie trembling alone

In the living room


Though you all say

“Spectacular sight!”

I'm terror-stricken

By the blinding light


So on November 5

Please don't forget

To spare a thought for me...

Your frightened family pet

My Little Homophone

My love lea little homophone

Sew savvy, smart and suite

Words sound the same butt spellings change

A reel impressive feet


Eye think a bout yew day lea

Eye dream of yew each knight

Bee coarse your all ways on my mind

When eye sit down too right


A peer ring inn my storeys

And inn my poems two

Sum pea pull off ten get con fused

If they encounter ewe


Found inn awl salts of plaices

Ex arm pull: none and nun

My love lea little homophone

Your such a special won



If

If I was a taxi you could be my fare

If I was a ship you could sail anywhere

If I was a car you could take the back seat

If I was a plane you’d fly ten thousand feet

If I was a rocket you’d go to the moon

I’d carry you high if I was a balloon

If I was a train I’d take you down the tracks

But, as I’m human, I can only give you…piggy back

P.E. Teacher

Our school's P.E. teacher

Is an unusual creature

The other staff don't dress like he is dressed

No t-shirt, jeans or black suit

But trainers and a tracksuit

Or modelling a pair of shorts and vest


Some think he's quite an oddball

Pretends he's ace at football

No passion for maths, French or history

Or English, science or music

So 'games' – he had to choose it

He says he'll make an athlete of me


With superhero-strong build

Sprints swiftly round the sports field

While all my class must follow in the rain

He'll flex is muscles proudly

Then blow his whistle loudly

And gives us extra laps if we complain


Our school's P.E. teacher

Is an unusual creature

Who shouts a lot if we forget our kit

As tough as a gorilla

Or possibly Godzilla

He’s sure to be the one to get us fit, fit, fit

Grandfather Clock

I'm a grandfather clock

Two hands fixed to my face

Silky, smooth, polished skin

Coats my oak wooden case


My home’s here by the door

At the end of your hall

Like a giant standing guard

Watchful, wise, tough and tall


See my pendulum swing

While I keep perfect time

Without fail every hour

Hear the sound of my chime


As I live, as I breathe

I will tick, I will tock

Proud, antique and unique

I'm a grandfather clock

Teacher

You taught me much of what I know

When I felt small you helped me grow

Sometimes you were a needed chum

Sometimes you were more like a mum

Encouraging me on my way

To make me what I am today


You were my shining guiding light

If I did wrong you’d set me right

If I said ‘can’t’ then you said 'can’

I truly am your superfan

Inspired by the things you do

I want be a teacher too

In My Helicopter

Flying - 5,000 feet

Tightly strapped in my seat

It's a thrill you can't beat

In my helicopter, helicopter

Whir, whir, whir!


An incredible view

From a sky bright and blue

With white fluffy clouds too

In my helicopter, helicopter

Whir, whir, whir!


As I gaze to the ground

Metal blades spinning round

To my favourite sound

In my helicopter, helicopter

Whir, whir, whir!


Breezes blow through my hair

I can go anywhere

Freedom's up in the air

In my helicopter, helicopter

Whir, whir, whir!


In my helicopter, helicopter

Whir, whir, whir!


The Zoo That Rocked

Foxes foxtrotted

Flamingoes fandangoed

Raccoons did the robot

Tarantulas tangoed

Porpoises pogoed

Tortoises tried the twist

Seahorses salsaing

Such a sight not to be missed

Camels can-canned

Hippos hip-hopped

The residents were raving

In The Zoo That Rocked


Terrapins tried tap

Jellyfish jived to jazz

Rhinoceroses rumbaed

With a certain razzamatazz

Quails and quetzals quickstepped

Badgers boogalooed

Walruses waltzed

Bats attempted ballet too

Lambs did lambada

Moved, grooved and never stopped

All animals were animated

In The Zoo That Rocked


Salamanders sambaed

Conger eels chose the conga

Cheetahs cha-cha-chaed

Till they couldn't any longer

Jackdaws jitterbugged

Snakes selected swing

Brown bears thought that ballroom

Was just their kinda thing

Meerkats moonwalked

Baboons body popped

Every creature danced, danced, danced

In The Zoo That Rocked


Mum's Secret Job

Arlo's mum's an architect

Isla's mum's an illustrator

Kevin's mum's a chemist

Deena's mum's a decorator

Mine says she’s a shop worker

Though I know that’s a lie

'Cos my mum works as an MI5 spy


Gina's mum's a journalist

Bola's mum's a builder

Geeta's mum's a gardener

Calvin's mum's a carer

Mine hides gadgets everywhere

Wears shade upon her eyes

'Cos my mum works as an MI5 spy


Frankie's mum's a firefighter

Dora's mum's a driver

Amir's mum's an actor

Orla's mum's an author

Mine will whisper down her phone

All secretive and sly

'Cos my mum works as an MI5 spy


Irene's mum's in I.T.

Freddie's mum's a farmer

Lulu's mum's a lawyer

Reuben's mum's a roofer

Mine flies jets then parachutes

From high up in the sky

'Cos my mum works as an MI5 spy


Kush's mum's a cleaner

Dorcas' mum's a doctor

Caleb's mum's a caterer

Polly's mum's a plumber

If you ask mine “What’s your job?”

You’ll not get a reply

'Cos my mum works as an MI5 spy

Magical

Dressed in a smart suit of silver and black

He produced twenty rabbits out of his hat

Sawed a man and a woman in half

As the audience shrieked!

As the audience gasped!


While waving his magic wand around

He levitated high above ground

Pulled ten silk scarfs from each ear

Yelled “Abracadabra!”

And - in a flash - disappeared

I'm a Germ

I’m a germ, nasty germ

I’m contagious and I’m catching

Make you cough and make you splutter

Maybe itching, maybe scratching

While you sniffle, while you snuffle

You’ll feel iller and infirm

Horrid, microscopic menace

I’m a germ!


I’m a germ, filthy germ

Plotting, planning how to raid you

Loveless, loathsome little devil

Drop your guard and I’ll invade you

First I spot you, next I’ve got you

You’re the apple, I’m the worm

Vulgar, vilest of villains

I’m a germ!


I’m a germ, dirty germ

Out of sight and unapparent

Multiplying in my millions

Though invisible, transparent

Human meds can strike me dead

Still, I might rally and return

Best beware - I’m always out there

I’m a germ!

Chocolate Fix

Rumbles in my belly

Not for crisps or jelly

Biscuits, fruit or deli

I need a chocolate fix


Milk or white or dark bar

All are rated 'five star'

Guess what's on my radar?

I really need a chocolate fix


Expectation's mounting

Calories - who’s counting?

Ice cream, drink or fountain

I really, really need a chocolate fix


Keep those cakes you're baking

Hold that Chinese take in

Please - stop my hands from shaking

I really, really, really need a chocolate fix!

NOISY!

The motorbike's ZOOMING

My big brother's HUMMING

The waterfall's CRASHING

The bass drummer's DRUMMING


The lawnmower’s WHIRRING

The babies are BAWLING

The builders are DRILLING

My parents are CALLING


The beatbox is BOOMING

The front doorbell’s RINGING

The tiger is ROARING

The neighbours are SINGING


The firework's EXPLODING

The rabbits are MUNCHING

The rusty door's CREAKING

The cookies are CRUNCHING


The windows are SMASHING

The sports fans are CHEERING

And my ears are drowning

In all that they’re hearing

Difference

If we all had the same eyes

The same nose, ears and teeth

Shared the same culture and religious beliefs


If we all weighed the same

Grew to the same height

Had the same sense of wrong and right


If we all had the same hairstyle

Had identical brains

So our personalities were exactly the same


If we all held the same opinions

Never had any choice

Always spoke with the same single voice


If we all laughed at the same jokes

Wore the same clothes when dressed

Achieved the same score in every test


If we all had the same skin colour

And possessed the same face

Then the world would be such a boring place