Bake Off

She really took the biscuit
She was a cracker
So life was sweet
And she was the cherry on top

As our relationship developed
She said that my commitment was wafer-thin
I couldn't separate the wheat from the chaff
And I had my fingers in too many pies
Till they got burnt

Caught with my hand in the cookie jar
And worse
A bun in the oven
I was sandwiched
In fact I was toast!

On leaving she yelled “You can't have your cake and eat it!”
I guess I never knew which side my bread was buttered on...