Captain Polystyrene

There's a hero who's unusual
And some say most peculiar
Who's not composed of silver, steel or rock
He looks ready to expire
Melts away in any fire
He's Captain Polystyrene
And he's not much cop

Weedy as a tiny feather
Watch him crumble in bad weather
Never giving people confidence at all
There's nobody who is lighter
There's nobody who is whiter
He's Captain Polystyrene
And he's so uncool

He may break up during battle
Even when in fights with cattle
He is weaker than a milky cup of tea
With a face that's full of pimples
And a body full of dimples
He's Captain Polystyrene
A catastrophe

No-one cares when he's attacking
Once this guy was used in packing
He's constructed from some old leftover scraps
Flexing muscles far too little
He's a polymer who's brittle
He's Captain Polystyrene
Quite a useless chap

Yes he's really unfantastic
Strictly speaking he's a plastic
And his enemy's the fragile Colonel Glass
With frail frames they both are lumbered
I think that their days are numbered
He's Captain Polystyrene
You should call him last