Venus Fly Trap

I am a venus fly trap

And I like trapping flies

I wait until they move in close

Then give them a surprise

A bear is very hairy

A tortoise very tough

So I'll pick flies until I die

I'll never have enough


Some other smaller insects

I'll grab and gobble too

But as I'm born to feast on flies

They are my choice to chew

Unable to escape me

Once snapped up by my jaws

For breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner please

Serve flies forevermore


The clue is in my title

My favoured type of meat

I love fly wings, heads, bodies, legs

Their tiny tasty feet

Who cares that they're disgusting

Filled full of dirt and muck?

All yummy in my tummy

Even though you're yelling “Yuck!”


I am a venus fly trap

Now slinking off to bed

I don't consume flies when asleep

I dream of them instead

The oddest of obsessions

Yet what I'm built to do

And if the world runs out of flies

Beware - I might trap you!

My Many Mes

There's a cheerful me who's happy

There's an upset me who's sad

There's a good me who's an angel

There's a monster me who's bad


There's a me who brims with confidence

There's an unsure me who's shy

There's a me who's ever honest

There's a me who always lies


There's a comic me who's funny

There's a serious me also

There's an early morning miserable me

You wouldn't want to know


There's a keen enthusiastic me

There's a me who's lax and lazy

There’s a quiet thoughtful me

There's an angry me who's crazy


There's a me who is so selfish

There's a me who is so kind

There are lost mes I've not seen in years

There are those I've yet to find


And each me’s an ingredient

For a special recipe

Cos when all mixed together

They're my personality

First Day Back

We said our twelve-times table

Mixed decimals and fractions

Made massive sugar crystals 

Through chemical reactions

We studied many mini-beasts

And microscopic creatures

Were taught how to respect our friends

Our parents and our teachers


We climbed on frames in P.E.

Played boys v girls at football

At lunchtime I ate pasta

Then ice cream (that was real cool!)

Sir showed us some volcanic rocks

We spoke a bit of Spanish 

Discovered most of Africa

Learnt why the T-rex vanished


Next up was comprehension

Along with two tough maths tests

In art we drew self-portraits 

But mine looked such a huge mess

We watched a film on shooting stars

We visited the library

Did drama in the studio

Completed our day's diary


Returning home exhausted

I flopped out on the floor

Although Year 3 was a great place to be

I’m already preferring Year 4!

Pull a Funny Face!

Be entertaining

Be inspiring

Leave them laughing

Keep them smiling

Help ‘serious’ vanish without a trace

And pull a funny face!


Roll your eyeballs

Mess your hair up

Flare your nostrils

Watch folk cheer up

Make an impression on the human race

And pull a funny face!


Be hysterical

Be hilarious

Grin and grimace

Act ridiculous

Look like an alien from outer space

And pull a funny face!


Poke your tongue out

Puff your cheeks too

Wiggle both ears

Shout “Moo, moo, moo!”

Show an expression of utter disgrace

And pull a funny face!


Be beguiling

Be pure potty

Stupid, silly

Dim, daft, dotty

The world will be a much happier place if you…

Pull a funny face!

Places

If it’s true that people

Tie knots in Nottingham

Drive cars in Cardiff

Make glass in Glasgow

Ring bells in Belfast

Do less in Leicester

Drink water in Waterloo

Burn things in Burnley

Keep wolves in Wolverhampton, swans in Swansea, and eels in Ealing

Crawl in Crawley

Fall down in Falkirk

Bark in Barking (surely not?)

Read in Reading

Are born in Bournemouth

But live in Liverpool

Then what do they do in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?

Conscience Calling

Hi, it’s Conscience calling

The voice inside your head

When you’re doing something bad I’m shouting “Stop - try this instead!”

Your Jiminy Cricket

A bright flashing light

Showing you what’s wrong

And how to put it right

Hi, it’s Conscience calling

I swim around your brain

If you’re being nasty, mean I’m yelling “Don’t do that again!”

Your hidden advisor

A red danger sign

When you make mistakes

It’s me who’ll change your mind

Hi, it’s Conscience calling

I live between your ears

Though always invisible I’ve been your guide for many years

Your emergency brake

A friend ever wise

Helping you review, reflect, rethink

And revise

When I Grow Up

When I grow up I want to:


Empty a whole bag of marshmallows onto my breakfast cereal each day


Travel to Patagonia* by submarine (*that's in Argentina, South America)


Spell 'Caribbean' and ‘necessary’ correctly without having to use a spellchecker or a dictionary


Change my middle name to 'Superpoet'


Go to bed whenever I like

Get out of bed whenever I like


Be much taller (though my Nan always says, “The best things come in small packages.”)


Dye my hair with shocking pink and electric blue stripes


NEVER marry Gemma in Class 5 (although she keeps asking me to marry her)


Keep a pet anaconda called 'Ralf'


Have this poem published in a book


Become a millionaire so I can donate all my money to the world's poorest people


Become Prime Minister so I can pass a law making every other millionaire do the same


Be able to update this list at any time in the future


Now, what about YOU?

Greetings

The pigs oink

The wolves howl

The tigers in the jungle growl


The crocodiles snap

The horses neigh

The birds tweet tweet then fly away


The dolphins click

The chickens cluck

“Quack, quack! Quack, quack!” reply the ducks

The snakes hiss

The bats screech

The mice all let out tiny squeaks


The frogs ribbit

The cows moo

But I say “Hi - how do you do?”

Holidaying with the Rhinoceros

Although it sounds preposterous

I'm holidaying with the rhinoceros


'Cos the bullfrog's baking bagels

The wolf went with me last week

The possum prefers to stay at home

The buzzard's cleaning his beak

The pig smells worse than a rubbish tip

The same can be said of the skunk

The tapir's watching television

The dingo's definitely drunk

The ibex can't be bothered

The llama's incredibly lazy

The chimpanzee is stuck up a tree

The coypu's completely crazy

The zebra's practising zoomies

The bison's having a bath

The gannet has flown to the Isle of Thanet

The hyena simply laughs...and laughs...and laughs


The salmon's sleeping silently

The whale has moved to Wales

The walrus wanders aimlessly

And I'm NOT taking the snails


The termite's playing tennis

The wrasse is just relaxing

The loris and the sloth of course

Find travelling far too taxing

So I'm holidaying with the rhinoceros

Ridiculous you might think

But it's something that I must do now

As he soon could become extinct




Popcorn!

I like popcorn

Popping in the pan

I like popcorn

I'm its biggest (POP!) fan

I like popcorn

Whether (POP!) salt or sweet

I (POP!) like popcorn

'Cos it’s neat, neat, (POP!) neat


I like popcorn

Buy (POP!) a mega pack

I like (POP!) popcorn

Such a perfect snack

I like popcorn

Cooked (POP! POP!) but never raw

I like popcorn

Can I (POP!) have some more?


I (POP!) like popcorn

While I watch (POP!) TV

I like popcorn

With a cup of tea (POP!)

I like popcorn

From (POP!) the popcorn shop

I like popcorn

When it pops! Pops! Pops!

(POP!)

Sensible

When the lesson began Sir advised us

“Sit next to somebody sensible”

I looked around...


Ella had tied her pigtails tightly under her chin and couldn't undo the knots

Harrison’s socks were on the floor while he was showing us how he could bite his own toenails

Reuben insisted he was going to quack like a duck for the rest of the day rather than talk

Li Jing had covered her entire face with an orange felt tip pen and glitter glue

Azeeb was impersonating a hamster by stuffing both of his cheeks with large pickled onions

Rohaan was licking his desk – again!

Caitlin had tipped the litter bin out onto her head and was whistling loudly

Ollie warned me that Malcolm, his invisible pet anaconda, was already occupying the chair beside him

Fin was wearing a wellington boot on one foot and a flip flop on the other

Jenson's seat was empty as he'd been hiding in the cupboard in the corridor since yesterday

Natalia had blown up a piece of bubblegum until it was larger than her head

Bhavna really did believe she was the Queen of England and was only responding to those addressing her as 'Your Majesty'

Nic and Narine were busy holding hands and blowing kisses to eachother

Malik was frantically trying to stop them by pulling stupid faces

Millie – who only ever spoke English - was trying to recite the Russian alphabet backwards

And Connor, for no obvious reason, was dressed as a Roman Centurion


So, wisely I thought, I sat by myself

Until Miss yelled

“Neal, please - be sensible!”

Empathy

I know what you know

I hear what you hear

I sense what you sense

I fear what you fear


I taste what you taste

I smell what you smell

The memories you have

I have them as well


I walk in your steps

I stand in your shoes

I get what you say

Tuned into your views


I laugh when you laugh

I'm sad when you're sad

A genuine friend

The closest you've had


I think what you think

I see what you see

I feel what you feel

I am Empathy



Living Next Door to a Viking

He stands with a spear in his doorway

From Sweden or Denmark or Norway

Iron helmet and beard

It’s just as I feared

I’m living next door to a Viking


He tells me he travels by longboat

Wears animal hide and a fur coat

His favourite drink

Is strong mead, I think

I’m living next door to a Viking


We welcomed him then he betrayed us

Insisting he's set to invade us

Since he first appeared

Things have got quite weird

I’m living next door to a Viking


He’s shining his shields every Sunday

And sharpening swords every Monday

A huge fan of Thor

And weapons and war

I’m living next door to a Viking


An expert on our Middle Ages

Throws tempers and tantrums and rages

Valhalla’s his aim

He’s fighting again!

I’m living next door to a Viking

A Letter to Me

I'm writing a letter to me

You might think that sounds really strange

But everyone messages, emails and texts

I thought it would make such a change


I'm uncertain what to include

I already know all my news

Yet can't recall when I last wrote with a pen

So ink is the method I choose


Don't say I don't move with the times

A technophobe stuck in the past

The personal touch of a handwritten note

Is sure to lift anyone's heart


I'll slip in a photo or two

My cat or my dog or my friends

Then sign it “Love Me” with an 'X' for a kiss

When I reach that bit at the end


I'm writing a letter to me

Now adding a stamp and address

Receiving new post is the thing I like most

The old ways are sometimes the best