Recycling Man

When you’ve finished with your bottles, jars, paper, tins

Bits of wood, grass, leaves or banana skins

Don’t dispose of them in your big black bins

Please give me a call

I’ll collect it all

I've a world-saving plan

I'm the Recycling Man


I’ll transform tonnes of rubbish into different stuff

Because I'm smart as well as extra tough

Chucking things away isn’t good enough

Be your planet’s pal

Dial my number now

I've a world-saving plan

I'm the Recycling Man


Such a rare superhero, I'm a unique breed

Piles of weekly waste become what you need

'Useless' to 'useful' ever guaranteed

Shouting: “Green is great!”

Mother Nature’s mate

I've a world-saving plan

I'm the Recycling Man


So bring out your garbage if I knock on your door

Hand it to me and then hand me some more

We CAN win this environmental war

Junk old to new

It’s what I do

I've a world-saving plan

I'm the Recycling Man

I Want to Marry Me

I want to marry me

It's what I want to do

Don't want to marry him or her

Don't want to marry you


I want to marry me

Though it's against the rules

Why have a husband or a wife

When solo's oh so cool?


I want to marry me

My path to perfect bliss

I'm keen to cuddle by myself

Then give my lips a kiss


I want to marry me

I'll purchase just one ring

Won't need a spouse inside my house

A partner's not my thing

I want to marry me

Then honeymoon alone

Ein, uno, un will be such fun

I’ll live life on my own


I want to marry me

That's absolutely fine

Take it as read - I've planned ahead

Although...I'm only nine

My Monkey's Poem

Ooo oooooo

“Ooo ooo ooo - ooo ooo ooo?”

Ooo ooo

Ooo ooo ooo


Ooo ooo oooooo

Ooo ooo

OOO!
OOO!
OOO!
OOO! OOO!

Ooo ooo ooo


Ooo ooo oooooo

Ooo ooo: Bananas

(Ooo ooo ooo)

Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo

Ooo ooo ooo


Ooo ooo oooooo

Ooo ooo

Ooo ooo: Peanuts

Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo

Ooo ooo ooo


Ooo ooo ooo - ooo ooo ooo*

Ooo ooo

Oooooooooooooooooo!

Ooo ooo ooo


Ooo ooo oooooo

Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo

Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo...

OOO! OOO! OOO!


(*Ooo ooo ooo ooo - ooo ooo)

Tap

Drip, drip, drip

Like a slow ticking clock

Drip, drip, drip

Never ends, never stops

Drip, drip, drip

Down the plug, down the drain

Drip, drip, drip

Then again and again


Drip, drip, drip

Every night, every day

Drip, drip, drip

Water dribbles away

Drip, drip, drip

A monotonous sound

Drip, drip, drip

In my head, rolling round


Drip, drip, drip

Hits the old metal sink

Drip, drip, drip

Call a plumber I think

Drip, drip, drip

Keeping me wide awake

Drip, drip, drip

PLEASE – FOR GOODNESS SAKE!


Drip, drip, drip

Like a slow ticking clock

Drip, drip, drip

Never ends, never stops

Drip, drip, drip

Down the plug, down the drain

Drip, drip, drip

Then again and again

Talk

When you have a bad day, can't cope any longer

You're weak and you're wobbly, wish you were stronger

When lying in bed is your choice recreation

Until happiness is your poorest relation

When you're feeling bruised, brittle, so close to breaking

Each step you're attempting's the toughest you're taking

When your stomach's knotted, too tight to be undone

Then lighten that huge load

By talking to someone

Brother Versus Sister

He said YES

She said NO

He said TO

She said FRO

He said WEAK

She said STRONG

He said RIGHT

She said WRONG


He said DO

She said DON'T

He said WILL

She said WON'T

He said HORSE

She said COW

He said ZAP!

She said POW!


He said YOUNG

She said OLD

He said HOT

She said COLD

He said A

She said B

He said SHE

She said HE


He said DOG

She said CAT

He said THIN

She said FAT

He said FLIP

She said FLOP

Till Mum said

STOP! STOP! STOP!

Heart

I'm your heart, your body's pump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump

Like a big internal drum

Nestled just above your tum

Working arteries and veins

Powering organs (e.g. brains)


24 hours of the day

When you’re young till old and grey

Feeding you from head to toe

Super living dynamo!


I'm your heart, your body's pump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump


Feel my rhythm, hear my beat

Regular as marching feet

At your centre, at your core

Shifting blood then shifting more

I’m love’s symbol, I’m love’s sign

Find me on your Valentine

If I stopped, you'd cease to be

So please take good care of me


I'm your heart, your body's pump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump

Thump, thump

THUMP, THUMP!


Ten Lies Adults Tell You

“Too much TV will turn your eyes square”

“Unscrew your belly button and your bottom will drop off”

“The moon is made of cheese”

“Clouds are made of cotton wool”

“Swallow an apple pip and a tree will grow in your stomach”

“The Bogeyman will get you!”

“Eating your crusts will cause your hair to curl”

“Stop picking your nose or you'll pull your brain out!”

“You'll shrink if you spend too long lying in the bath”

And

“You'll never make a living from being a poet”

The Rougher, Tougher Pufferfish

I’m the rougher, tougher pufferfish

Pick on me if you dare

Much meaner than most other fish

Please handle me with care


Inflating like a spiky sphere

When threatened with attack

I’m warning you do not come near

Select another snack


I’m the rougher, tougher pufferfish

Scourge of the Seven Seas

Shoot poison to subdue you too

If you give me a squeeze


My reputation is renowned

Catch me? I wouldn’t try

You’ll meet a messy end my friend

Choose other fish to fry


I’m the rougher, tougher pufferfish

With weapons to reveal

So stick to sole, cod, plaice or skate

Next time you want a meal

Watermelon, Watermelon

Watermelon, watermelon!

Green and pinky red

Watermelon, watermelon!

Bigger than your head

Watermelon, watermelon!

Massive, heavy ball

Watermelon, watermelon!

Take one into school


Watermelon, watermelon!

Rolling down the street

Watermelon, watermelon!

Squashing people's feet

Watermelon, watermelon!

Eat it with your chips

Watermelon, watermelon!

Spit out all the pips


Watermelon, watermelon!

Love that healthy juice

Watermelon, watermelon!

Feed some to a moose

Watermelon, watermelon!

Got to try a slice

Watermelon, watermelon!

So good they named it twice!

TEMPER

I lost my TEMPER

I watched it go

Where it ran off to

I’ll never know


I lost my TEMPER

With one LOUD SHOUT

Opened my mouth wide

Saw it JUMP out


I lost my TEMPER

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Heard the EXPLOSIONS

All round the room


I lost my TEMPER

When I got MAD

Had many TANTRUMS

But this was BAD


I lost my TEMPER

Waved it goodbye

Now I’m so sorry

I made you cry 😢😢😢

I Want a Dog

I want a dog to stroke and pat

I want a dog don't want a cat

A perfect pooch is what I need

Don't care what colour, size or breed


I want a dog it would be neat

A man's best friend to spoil and treat

We'd play at football in the park

He'd woof and growl and sniff and bark


I want a dog I cannot wait

This pet would be my new best mate

He'd shake and wag his fluffy tail

Between his teeth collect the mail


I want a dog a happy hound

To make me smile when I feel down

I'd teach him how to sit and stay

And always walk him twice a day


I want a dog I can call mine

I've saved up for the longest time

I want a dog that's what I said

Or maybe...

I'll just buy some sweets instead

Dadtime Stories

He creates strange voices

Sound effects

Peculiar noises

With wild surprises

Shrieks of laughter

While we hope all stories end

Happy ever after


There are moments of intrigue

Thrills! Adventure! Action!

Gripping me like magnetic attraction

New ideas, new facts, new words, new places

Sharing some sad moments

But mainly wide smiling faces

And a closeness between us

That nothing can beat

When Dad reads to me at bedtime

Before lights out

Asleepzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

In the Zone

My senses are sharper than any wild cat's

I've tidied my bedroom in ten seconds flat

Completed my homework as well - just like that!

Don't call me on the phone

Cos I'm in the zone


A tricky maths problem I'll solve with great ease

I've taught myself French, Russian and Japanese

I'm buzzing much more than the busiest bees

Like a dog with a bone

Cos I'm in the zone


I'll run and win marathons beating the Flash

Create a computer from recycled trash

Record a hit song that's a number one smash

Concentration has grown

Cos I'm in the zone


I'll pilot a rocket – ZOOM! - up into space

Want poverty ended? Well I'm on the case

I love where I am in this most perfect place

I'm way out on my own

Cos I'm in the zone

The Anti-Tooth Fairy

The anti-tooth fairy

Won't make a single sound

She'll place teeth by your pillow case

Then pinch at least a pound

Such a nasty naughty sprite

Keep your money-box locked tight


The anti-tooth fairy

She’s miserable and mean

Not interested in dentistry

Just wants to rob you clean

Role reversal is her game

So she picked the perfect name


The anti-tooth fairy

Is wanted by the law

While you snore and while you snooze

Her pockets fill some more

Molars do not hold appeal

Rather find your cash to steal


The anti-tooth fairy

Leaves all the kids in tears

Shut your windows, bolt your doors

At night in case she’s near

Think of what this poem’s said

Or


…she’ll burgle


...you in


…bed!

Metaphor Man

He eats villains for lunch

When it comes to the crunch

Who's the pick of the bunch?

It's Metaphor Man


If your blue sky turns grey

He'll just blow it away

Who's that saving the day?

It's Metaphor Man


A dependable rock

Bound to come out on top

Who's the cream of the crop?

It's Metaphor Man


Stops bad guys in their tracks

Watching everyone's back

Who's the ace in the pack?

It's Metaphor Man


Who is truth?

Who is light?

Who is speed?

Who is might?

BOOM!

Who is live dynamite?

It's Metaphor Man

Venus Fly Trap

I am a venus fly trap

And I like trapping flies

I wait until they move in close

Then give them a surprise

A bear is very hairy

A tortoise very tough

So I'll pick flies until I die

I'll never have enough


Some other smaller insects

I'll grab and gobble too

But as I'm born to feast on flies

They are my choice to chew

Unable to escape me

Once snapped up by my jaws

For breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner please

Serve flies forevermore


The clue is in my title

My favoured type of meat

I love fly wings, heads, bodies, legs

Their tiny tasty feet

Who cares that they're disgusting

Filled full of dirt and muck?

All yummy in my tummy

Even though you're yelling “Yuck!”


I am a venus fly trap

Now slinking off to bed

I don't consume flies when asleep

I dream of them instead

The oddest of obsessions

Yet what I'm built to do

And if the world runs out of flies

Beware - I might trap you!

My Many Mes

There's a cheerful me who's happy

There's an upset me who's sad

There's a good me who's an angel

There's a monster me who's bad


There's a me who brims with confidence

There's an unsure me who's shy

There's a me who's ever honest

There's a me who always lies


There's a comic me who's funny

There's a serious me also

There's an early morning miserable me

You wouldn't want to know


There's a keen enthusiastic me

There's a me who's lax and lazy

There’s a quiet thoughtful me

There's an angry me who's crazy


There's a me who is so selfish

There's a me who is so kind

There are lost mes I've not seen in years

There are those I've yet to find


And each me’s an ingredient

For a special recipe

Cos when all mixed together

They're my personality