The Ultimate Superhero

I’m the ultimate superhero
No job’s too big or too small
When danger threatens our country
Or if your cat’s stuck up a tree
It’s me you’ll want to call
I’m the ultimate superhero

If you’re a bad guy then I’m your supreme test
My legs and arms are wider than your expanded chest
You’ll recognise me by the golden U.S.H on my vest
And like my fellow superheroes I’ve a cape to help me fly
If you shot, bashed, squashed or smashed me I’ll never die
Though I don’t suggest you try
I’ve even made a Dalek break down and cry
I’m the ultimate superhero

I’m indestructible
Totally unbeatable
Flabbergastingly fast
You’ll not see me wear an Elastoplast
Or a plaster cast
I’ll stop muggers who mug
Robbers who rob
Kidnappers who kidnap
Fighting crime is my job
I’m the ultimate superhero

Superman’s a gentle pussycat next to me
Batman’s a beginner, a novice, a trainee
While Spider-Man’s not even in the reckoning
I’ll spearhead the attack when danger’s beckoning
I pack the most powerful of powerful punches
I start work at six and never stop for tea or lunches
Do you know who the pick of the superhero bunch is?
Me - I’m the ultimate superhero

I’ve got a secret identity like all superheroes do
Who am I? Well, it’s a secret - so I’m not telling you
But rest assured I’ll be there when I am needed
When the laws of the nation are no longer heeded
I’ll be the first in the queue
To protect you
Beating super villains is what I do
So you can sleep safely in your beds at night
You’ve no need to live in fear, no
Leave it to me
To keep you free
I’m the ultimate superhero