My Dad Can't Rap

My Dad can't rap though he thinks he can
He's the world's worst rapper since rap began
He can't do the rhymes
He can't do the beats
Yet he's far too stubborn to admit defeat

My Dad can't rap 'cause he's 53
Still he calls himself Doggy Dad MC
Trying freestyling
Spitting them bars
“But Dad, old chaps can't be rap stars”

Slow chorus: My Dad
My Dad
My Dad

My Dad can't rap it's plain to hear
You'll stick your fingers in your ears
When he's in da house just keeping it real
And dreaming about that record deal

My Dad can't rap can't do hip hop
My Mum is begging him to stop
“Please dress your age and lose that bling
“'Cause rock and roll is more your thing”

Repeat chorus

My Dad can't rap he's too uncool
Though he struts around like Dizzee Rascal
Singing “I'm king rapper in this neighbourhood”
I say “Yo Daddy-o you're not that good”

So somebody should give him a slap
And take away his new baseball cap
He's not Jay-Z
He's not Tupac
He's got less rhythm than a dripping tap

Repeat chorus