Custard Man

I'm Custard Man
Give me custard, man
On pudding, on pie, on fruit, on flan
Banana flavour, vanilla or chocolate
Serve me some I'll slurp the lot of it
Strawberry sauce or raspberry jam
Don't fit in with my master plan
All I desire is custard, man

I love it in a can or tin
I love it when it's runny thin
I love it so much it's a sin
I'd even drink it from your bin

I'm Custard Man
Give me custard, man
On pork, on peas, on lettuce, on lamb
If I found four bowls of blancmange
I'd soak them up just like a sponge
Once my meals were dull and bland
Now I'm this liquid's biggest fan
I want to live in Custardland

I love it whether cold or hot
I love it with the skin on top
I love it so much I can't stop
Until I taste the final drop

I'm Custard Man
Give me custard, man
On spaghetti, on stew, on haddock, on ham
I hate hot dogs smothered in mustard
My rule is it's cool to be caked in custard
None of my friends can understand
They say my craving's out of hand
But I reply “More custard, man!”

I love it when it's set and thick
I always love to have a lick
I love it till I'm feeling sick
This habit is too hard to kick

Why scream for ice cream
When it isn't my scene
And only one thing
Fulfils my dreams?
For starter, sweet and in-between
I'm a fellow liking yellow
Not red or blue or green
I'm Custard Man
I'm the Custard King
Give me custard, custard, custard!