The Hairy Poem

All kinds of hair
Black, ginger, brown, blonde or fair
Hair that's straight
Hair that's plaited
Curly, frizzy
Wavy or matted

Hair in a bow
Bob or a bun
Big hair to keep the sun off your head
Hair dyed mauve, turquoise or naturally red
You may have a bald patch with no hair retention
You may have a new batch of hair extensions

Clean, shiny hair washed in shampoo
(With conditioner added too)
Baby-soft hair
Amazing Afro hair
"Keep you're hair on!" Is the thing to say
To the man whose wig has blow away
"Snip, snip!" Cut hair on the hairdresser's floor
"Ouch - that's my hair you've shut in the door!"

Hair on your body
Hair on your face
Hair popping up all over the place
Messy morning hair at 8 o'clock
Punk Mohican hair for maximum shock
Bob Marley reggae-king proudly wore dreadlocks
Want to join the army then get your hair cropped
I love you so much and because I care
In a tiny box I keep a strand of your hair

Prickly beards
Fluttering eyelashes 
Smooth eyebrows
Silly-shaped moustaches
Hair in a ponytail
Hair that is braided 
Dry, greasy, knotted hair is lifeless and jaded 
Weird scary hair - "Help! The aliens have invaded!"
Old hair that's grey and faded

Pigtails, quiffs, bunches
Comb your hair slicked-back
But don't hide your hair under a hat
That's not hair - that's fur on your cat!
Scratch your hair if you have a flea
'Herr' means 'mister' in Austria and Germany

Yes, hair is what this poem's about
If you can't understand it don't tear your hair out
Instead here's what to do
Look in the mirror and tell me...
What hair type are YOU?