You say your onesie's cuddly, comfortable and cute
A warming, woolly, wonderful, one-piece sleep-in snuggly suit
You wear it when you walk the dog
And in your neighbour's house
You wear it in your garden
As you're ambling about
You wear it under overcoats
When popping to the shops
This stupid fashion statement
Should immediately stop

You wear it when you're sunbathing
For journeys in the car
You wear it every dinnertime
And in dark cinemas
When friends come round to visit you
While doing household jobs
Admit it - you're just lazy
And love living like a slob

You wear it to put out the trash
And probably in the bath
Check out that mirror what you see's
Completely dim and daft
Who cares if it's your birthday
Christmas, Ramadan or Lent?
Your clothes selection must be more
Than barmy baggy tents

Please promise me this simple rule's cemented in your head
'The only way a onesie's cool is when it's worn in bed!'