Sitting on the Fence

You say it's black, she says it's white

You say it's wrong, he says it's right

You say it's a nibble, they say it's a bite

Me? I'm sitting on the fence

You say it's west, she says it's east

You say it's the most, he says it's the least

You say it's a snack, they say it's a feast

Me? I'm sitting on the fence

You say it's real, she says it's fake

You say it's a shimmy, he says it's a shake

You say it's a worm, they say it's a snake

Me? I'm sitting on the fence

You say it's pepper, she says it's salt

You say it's a zero, he says it's a nought

You say it's an oink, they say it's a snort

Me? I'm sitting on the fence

You say it's bongos, she says it's drums

You say it's a whistle, he says it's a hum

I'm counting the splinters in my bum

'Cos me? I'm sitting on the fence!