The Supervillain's View

Life's not easy being a supervillain
Forever misunderstood
Beaten and bashed
Trounced and trashed
By those wretched superheroes who prefer to do good

Why can't they let me get the girl?
Why can't they let me conquer the world?
I might make it a far better place
Mind-controlling the whole human race
If only they'd give me a chance...

The media too are constantly on my back
Saying it's my fault for each random attack
Or bomb disappearing from a military base
Or alien invasion from outer space

When the ozone layer had a hole in
When the Bank of England's cash was stolen
They wanted a scapegoat so they blamed me
They wanted a fall guy so they named me
Life's not easy being a supervillain

Why can't I star in my own monthly comic
Featuring my adventures with my logo on it?
You'd read about the dastardly deeds I've done
Like when I syphoned the heat from the sun
Or when I built a gigantic glue gun
Being evil should be much more fun!

My expensive costume
Gets torn and tattered
Each week my body  
Gets bruised and battered
My secret identity
Has been revealed
My invisible hideout
Is no longer concealed

I had a difficult childhood you see
But I'm not looking for sympathy
As defeat follows defeat
And my patience wears thin
Is there any way
If just for one day
That you could allow me to win?
'Cause life's not easy being a supervillain