Terrorise My Babysitter 

I terrorise my babysitter
What a horrid kid! 
Haunting her
Taunting her
I pinched her arm, run off and hid
She thinks she's smart
Then I outwit her
I terrorise the babysitter

What a nasty child!
Scratching her
Attacking her
Pretending her pet goldfish died
A little devil
Mean and bitter
I terrorise my babysitter 

What an awful mite!
Chucking chairs
Pulling hair
I let the tyres down on her bike
While threatening to kick
Or hit her
I terrorise my babysitter 

What a spiteful brat! 
Pick a fight
Try to bite
Stomp hard upon her brand new hat
I flood the floor
With glue and glitter
I terrorise my babysitter 

What a terrible tot!
Acting rude
Flicking food
Wipe both my sleeves on dripping snot
I trash my room
And scatter litter
I terrorise my babysitter
But tell me what would you do...
If your big sister babysat you?


If your nose is blocked
Closed and clogged and locked
You can't smell your socks

When the winter bites
Squeeze your nostrils tight
Then with all your might

Such a horrid noise
Nobody enjoys
Make your friends annoyed

Inhale fresher air
Past your nasal hair
Do it for a dare

It's a habit now
A disgusting row
Like a grunting sow

With your snout slammed shut
Suck that O2 up
Win the Sniffing Cup

It's the way to go
Though deep down you know
That it's best to blow


You're my smart spellchecker
You make my spelling better
My expert error detector
My clever character corrector
As a pal you're definitely best
To help me in my spelling test

My online poem polisher
My magical mistake demolisher
Checking spellings is what you do
Minding all my p's and q's
And every other letter of the alphabet too

My computerised dictionary
Telling me that 'necessary'
Has two s's
But just one c
So together we'll win any spelling bee

My lovely language lexicon
Providing word alternatives
In English and American
A super quick microchip
Adding extra zap and zip
To any author's accuracy

You're my text amender
My literacy defender
My first choice dyslexia fighter
Please don't ever desert me
My tremendously talented
Top, top, top
Type righter


No common elephant
I'm a jellyphant
Composed of gelatine
My herd all say
“He isn't grey
“More luminous lime green”

I never stomp
I never stamp
I wobble on my feet
Most elephants
Are rough and tough
I'm yummy, soft and sweet

I'll entertain you
At the zoo
So brilliant to behold
Not jungle born
But crafted from
A massive jelly mould

I don't squirt water
From my trunk
Just cold custard or cream
Part animal
Is what I am
And part confectionery 

I squash and squidge
Sleep in a fridge
To keep my body firm
I'm a giant
Jolly jellyphant
The strangest pachyderm


I'm a frightful fearful fellow
Dressed in suit of black and yellow
I'm the insect everybody hates to like
I don't care if I alarm you
I'm not bothered if I harm you
Once I've found and fixed you firmly in my sights

See me hover, see me flutter
I'm the nutter in your butter
Forming squishy squashy footprints with my feet
Such a pest and so annoying
I plan soon to be enjoying
That small pot of strawberry jam you've saved for sweet

Horrid humans do not rate me
They will constantly berate me
Much preferring buzzing bees or butterflies
Far too quick forever dodging
All your swiping and your swatting
I'm a terror though a thousandth of your size

When not bugging you for hours
I'm out pollenating flowers
Or off searching for some spiders for my tea
I suggest that you start running
'Cause my sting and I are coming
Call me W and A and S and P!

Bats! Bats! Bats!

(With special thanks to the letter B)

British, Bulgarian, Brazilian bats
Bosnian, Bermudan, Bolivian bats
Bright brainy bats
Bulging belly bats
Big bottomed bats
Blue bats buzzing
Brown bats bawling
Black bats braying
Beige bats beeping
Blonde bats burping
Bats! Bats! Bats!

Brutish bats biting bears
Bullying bats bothering bees
Bickering bats bugging birds
Baby bats being born
Brad, Brian, Billy bat
Beth, Brie, Becky bat
Batman's buddies - bold brave bats
Battling, breaking, busting, bruising, beating
Baddie biker bats
Bats! Bats! Bats!

Bouncing bats
Boing! Boing! Boing!
Builder bats
Bish! Bash! Bosh!
Boxing bats
Bash! Bang! Bump!
Boring bed batzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Baking bread bats
Buttering baguettes
Burning bagels
Buying baps
But borrowing brioche
Babbling bats blathering  
Blah! Blah! Blah!
Before bellowing “BOO!”
Bats! Bats! Bats!

Bossy, brash, busy, boogieing, breakdancing  
Boisterous, breathtaking, bodacious, brilliant, bonnie
Bonkers, barmy, barking, bananas, batty

Gorilla Ballerina

Standing on tiptoe
Putting on a show
Insisting her new hobby is the best way to go
You'd think she'd be rougher, gruffer and meaner
But she's a gorilla ballerina 

She just wants the chance
To whirl, twirl and prance
And hoping one day she'll be named the Queen of the Dance
At pirouetting no animal's keener
Check out this gorilla ballerina 

In tutu or dress
She'll always impress
Revealing her much softer side, not beating her chest
You think she'd be mighty, powerful and stronger
But she's into ballet (and tango and conga) 

Gliding 'cross the floor
While the crowds cry 'more!'
A maximum ten out of ten is her usual score
You'd think she'd be deadly, a brute and a killer
But she's a ballerina who's a gorilla

I'm an Electric Eel

I'm an electric eel
Delivering shocks
An electric eel
Blowing off your socks

An electric eel
Giving you a jolt
An electric eel
Can you feel my volts?

I hang out in river beds
Touch me you might end up dead

I'm an electric eel
Even scaring sharks
An electric eel
Glowing in the dark

An electric eel
Don't eat me with chips
An electric eel
I will burn your lips

Slimy, smooth and slippery
Full of electricity

I'm an electric eel
See me splash and swim
An electric eel
Long and sleek and slim

An electric eel
With no arms or legs
An electric eel
Which end is my head?

Run on mains or battery
Looks like someone's flattened me

I'm an electric eel
Such a powerful chap
An electric eel
With a zap, zap... 


You're just composed of jelly
With a weird transparent belly
All blubbery and blobby
And your head looks like your body
You sting and spit your poison
Though I still think that you're awesome

Oh deadly creature from the sea
Are you friend or...anemone?


(Did you know sea anemones and jellyfish belong to the same large group of animals called cnidarians?)

My Anteater

My anteater's growing thinner
Doesn't like ants for his dinner
Won't eat ants if boiled or roasted
Won't eat ants if baked or toasted

Won't eat ants if briskly fried up
Won't eat ants if slowly dried up
Ant burgers won't get a look in
Nor will ant-filled treacle pudding

Won't eat ants if mashed and mangled
Won't eat ants if lightly scrambled
Curried ants are far too spicy
Ant risotto's far too ricey 

Won't eat ants with margarine on
Won't eat ants with double cream on
Won't eat ants with jam inside them
Turns his nose up, just won't try them

Won't eat ants in Dijon mustard
Dipped in cold vanilla custard
Won't eat ants in crispy batter
Ketchup won't improve the matter

Won't eat ants with salt and pepper
Cream cheese, Stilton, Brie or feta
Won't eat ants in hot fajitas
He's an anti-ant anteater

Bookworm, Bookworm

Bookworm, bookworm
Head forever found in books
Not moving through the mud
Or dangling an angler's hook

Impressing the vet
Impressing the zoo
With more knowledge
Than a college
And an infinite IQ

Bookworm, bookworm
Loving fiction, loving fact
Yes this worm has turned
Now eating stories for a snack

Always top of the class
Always top of the tree
A massive brain
The size of Spain
He's off to university

Bookworm, bookworm
It's how he's best described
Adores every shiny cover
And each interesting inside

Wormed his way into a library
Made a bookshop his new home
The cleverest of creatures
The brightest one I've known

Bookworm, bookworm
Books are all he needs
Want to be a brilliant bookworm too?
Then read, read, read
Read, read, read
Read, read, read


(A liger is a cross between a male lion and a female tiger - true!)

Is she lion? 
is she tiger?
Is she neither? 
is she both?
Quite a picture
She's a mixture
She's the feline I like most

An illusion? 
A confusion?
Paws and claws
Fur, tail and teeth
Cute and pretty
Giant kitty
She's a most unusual beast

She's a muddle
A befuddle
Bits of this
And bits of that
She's a bungle
In the jungle
She's the craziest of cats

It's a Dogs' World

It's a dogs' world
Different types, breeds, shapes and sizes
Unusual dogs full of surprises
Excited dogs that wag their tails
Extremely strange dogs that `miaow'
Dangerous dogs whose bites are worse than their bark
Naughty dogs that burst footballs in the park

Dogs that are tall
Dogs that are small
Don't let slobbering dogs lick your face at all
That's totally disgusting and completely uncool

Terriers, Poodles, Spaniels, Alsatians
Labradors, Retrievers, Collies, 101 Dalmatians
A never-ending dog catalogue from so many nations

Dogs out walking
Frightening cats
Some wear coats in winter
But rarely socks or hats
Charcoal black dogs
Chocolate brown dogs
Silver grey dogs
Setters coloured red
Floppy spotted dogs
Silly stripy dogs
Tiny toy dogs
It's unhygienic to let dogs sleep in your bed
Buy them a basket or a kennel instead

Dogs must scratch an itchy flea
And drool and dribble while you have your tea
Even though they've just eaten
If you're needing a best friend a dog cannot be beaten

Dogs understand much of what's said
Despite only having two words in their heads
Walkies, dinner
Walkies, dinner
Walkies, dinner
Walkies, dinner
All day long
There's a dog on TV howling along
To his favourite pop song
And a movie star dog in an advert for dog food
Never let dogs grab your slippers as they'll be chewed and chewed 

Rabbits, hamsters, parrots, gerbils, moggies, horses and goldfish are fine
But they cannot compare to a cute canine
Wild dogs
Lost dogs
Guard dogs
Lazy dogs
Superhero dogs
Careful don't tread in doggy do
You'll end up with a smelly shoe

Dogs nervously trembling at the vet
Breaking out in a cold doggy sweat
Dogs stick by us constantly and won't let us forget
That when they say `woof!'
They're telling us they want a fuss
And they're definitely
The number one
Fun, fun, fun
Most perfect of pets

It's a dogs' world

My Friend Tummy Ache

My friend Tummy Ache
Is always there for me
He helped me miss my tests in spelling
Maths and history
He gets me out of washing up
And making beds each time
Although I feel him in my guts
I'm told he's in my mind

My friend Tummy Ache
Takes over when I'm stressed
Ok he hurts a little bit
Yet welcome as a guest
When I'm due at the doctors
Or the start of every term
My belly buddy shows himself
And my intestines squirm

My friend Tummy Ache
He feeds upon my fear
If I'm anxious or nervous
He is sure to reappear
He stops me doing all those things
I do not want to do
I couldn't see the dentist
'Cause he turned up that day too

My friend Tummy Ache
Is my ace in the pack
If I'm picked for cross country
There's no doubt he's coming back
But often Tummy Ache's worn out
Relaxing in his bed
So in his place...
My good mate Headache visits me instead


They're a bit like a wolf
They're a bit like a hound
Have a laugh loud and daft
That's the sound of a clown

Ha ha ha ha
He he he he
Hy hy hy hyeeeeeenas

They have stripes they have spots
Live on African plains
It's their home where they roam
There's no doubt they're deranged

Ha ha ha ha
He he he he
Hy hy hy hyeeeeeenas

Sharpened claws on their paws
On their backs there's a hunch
Always eat lots of meat
For their tea and their lunch

Ha ha ha ha
He he he he
Hy hy hy hyeeeeeenas

What's the joke? No-one knows
But they laugh all the same
First they roar then guffaw
Then they laugh once again

Ha ha ha ha
He he he he
Hy hy hy hyeeeeeenas

Ha ha ha ha
He he he he
Hy hy hy hyeeeeeenas

Woolly Hat

When it's freezing cold in winter
With the ground a sheet of white
I put on my woolly hat
Before the frost begins to bite
It is cosy, snug and comfy
And it makes my head feel good
It is welcoming and warming
Looks much better than a hood

As it's knitted by my grandma
You won't find it in a shop
If you think that ice is not nice
It will keep you hot on top
My hat's stripy, sometimes itchy
With a bobble that's attached
Has my name sown in the pattern
So if lost I'll get it back

When I play at throwing snowballs
It stops my ears turning blue
I am happy, I am healthy
Though it's chilly, minus two
I say it's a fashion statement
Though it squashes my hair flat
I may sell my scarf, coat, boots and gloves
But not my woolly hat