Shipwrecked

I’ve a message in a bottle

That I tossed into the sea

With these words I wrote upon it

‘Help! I'm shipwrecked - rescue me!’


It was swallowed by the currents

Of the sweeping, swirling tides

One small screwed up piece of paper

Praying for a prompt reply


From somebody showing pity

From somebody showing care

Who most certainly could save me

From this island - who knows where?


I am fed up, isolated

Every day is such a bore

On this land there's only sand

And when I look I see some more


I walk, paddle in the water

Sleep each night under a tree

Eat boiled beetles for my breakfast

Dried grass sandwiches for tea


So did my message cross the oceans

Through the sun, snow, wind and rain?

No I didn’t - I’m still stuck here

‘Cos it came straight back again ☹️

A Toucan Can

I can't fly high, tweet or sing

Hop in treetops, flap my wings

I certainty can't do those things

But I bet a toucan can

I bet a toucan can


I can't grab food with a bill

Perch upon your windowsill

Or nest in rainforests and chill

But I bet a toucan can

I bet a toucan can


I can't eat bugs – well would you?

Forage for some nuts to chew

But know a bird that can – guess who?

I bet a toucan can

I bet a toucan can

I bet a toucan can

Don't Pop My Poppadom

You can pop both tyres on my bike

Pop my rubber ring if you like

Pop my bouncy castle with a spike

But don't pop my poppadom!


You can pop the bubbles in my bath

Pop my airbed for a laugh

Pop out in winter with my coat and scarf

But don't pop my poppadom!


You can pop my balloon with a pin or fork

Pop to the shops if you want a walk

Pop Dad's Champagne by removing its cork

But don't pop my poppadom!


You pop my plastic beachball too

Pop my sausage on the barbecue

Even pop a pufferfish at the zoo

But what's the thing you must never do?

Don't pop my poppadom!

Shhh!

I have good news to shout about

I'd love to share it, yell it out

Hang huge banners outside my home

Send many messages from my phone

Place advertisements in the media

Create a page on Wikipedia

Carve it on my garden wall

Announce it to each class at school

Plaster posters down my street

Inform everyone I meet

Parents! Uncles! Aunts! Brothers!

Sisters! Grandfathers! Grandmothers!

Cousins! Friends! Neighbours as well!

BUT shhh - it’s a secret

So I'm not allowed to tell


Stenophobia*

Alleyways creep me out

Especially at night

Narrow serpentine twistiness

With a lonely lack of light


Dirty, filthy litter

Stinky, sickly smells

Encased by tall concrete walls

High fences as well


Alleyways creep me out

Turning corners blind

Shadows grow in front of me

Footsteps follow behind


Feeding an anxiety

Deep down in my gut

Next time I'll take the long way round

Avoiding the scary shortcut


*Stenophobia is a fear of narrow things or places such as corridors, hallways or alleyways

On Reflection

My carbon copy in plain sight

Your right's my left, your left's my right

Can you see me like I see you?

Am I forever in your view?


My mirror image - we're the same

I bet you even use my name

You have my body and my clothes

My face (hair, eyes, mouth, ears and nose)


Where are you if I turn away?

What do you do all night and day?

'Cos though you're pleasing to look at

Life must be boring as you're flat


With your world fixed inside a frame

Perhaps you'll tire of this game

Until a time I'm not about

When you shatter your glass...

And jump right out!


Shape

I'm often called the most boring shape of all

My body is as wide as it is tall

So my four sides look exactly the same

Other shapes laugh and call me names


My angles are identical - ninety degrees

You'll find me in your burger's slice of cheese

Rubik’s Cubes, waffles, building blocks

Chessboards, chocolate bars, a pizza box


And although I possess lines of symmetry

I wish I was an octagon but that was not to be

Instead I’m quite common and not really rare

My life is unexciting because…I'm a Square

?

I’ll make you think about something

Quiz, query and enquire

E.g. who, what, when, where, why, how

My aim is to inspire

I’ll help you unlock mysteries

Illuminate the dark

Your journey will begin with me

I am the question mark


Unlike my exclamation friend

Who shouts and screams a lot

Less common than the comma

And ubiquitous full stop

Please don’t use dashes, hyphens, brackets

But use me instead

I’ll set my puzzles for you

Then you’ll ponder, scratch your head


Found at the end of sentences

Found at the end of words

Though you might read them out aloud

I’m silent - never heard

If you’re hungry for knowledge

I’ll provide that vital spark

A perfect punctuation piece

I am the question mark

Who am I?

The quetion mark

Swamp, Swamp, Swamp!

In the mud, mud, mud

In the muck, muck, muck

In the murk, murk, murk

In the yuck, yuck, yuck


See us

Stomp, stomp, stomp!

In the swamp, swamp, swamp!


In the damp, damp, damp

In the bog, bog, bog

In the mist, mist, mist

In the fog, fog, fog


Hear us

Stomp, stomp, stomp!

In the swamp, swamp, swamp!


In the dirt, dirt, dirt

In the grime, grime, grime

In the sludge, sludge, sludge

In the slime, slime, slime


Smell us

Stomp, stomp, stomp!

In the swamp, swamp, swamp!


In the wet, wet, wet

In the rain, rain, rain

Until playtime ends

Once again, gain, gain


Join us

Stomp, stomp, stomp!

In the swamp, swamp, swamp!


Stomp, stomp, stomp!

In the swamp, swamp, swamp!

Staffroom

Do you sleep for hours

Watch movies on TV

Play computer games

Drink strong coffee and tea?


Do you party hard

Sing karaoke songs

Invent new punishments

For when kids do wrong?


Do you eat boxes of chocolates

Fresh cream cakes too

Hold fancy dress competitions

Or practise kung fu?


It's off limits for us children

So can you please answer this

What do teachers really do

In the staffroom, Miss?


Hide-and-Seek

You won’t find me In the bathroom

You won’t find me in your bed

I’m not in the kitchen cupboard

And I’m not inside the shed

You won’t find me in the living rooM

The garage or the Hall

If you look around the garden

You won’t find mE there at all

Try and spot me in the attic

That’s a total waste of time

But if you search veRy carefully

You’ll find me in this rhymE

Alarm Clock

You stand on the shelf

by my books near my bed

Your face cuts the darkness

displaying bright red


Your digits transforming

as each second dies

Relentlessly changing

until it's sunrise


You’re my morning conscience

my noisiest mate

Without you I'm certain

I'd always be late


If I'm feeling lazy

deciding to doze

You don't let me lie in

relax or repose


Instead you come calling

when I'm sound asleep

Disturbing my dreams

with your earsplitting BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEP!