Mum Can’t Resist a Bargain!

Buy just one, get one free

Money off – 50p

It’s another shopping spree

Mum can’t resist a bargain!


Fills her bag if it’s cheap

Every day, every week

Counting cash, saving heaps

Mum can’t resist a bargain!


Things we need, things we don’t

Fake toe nails, nanny goat

Wheelbarrow, three-armed coat

Mum can’t resist a bargain!


Spare false teeth, plastic fish

Two odd shoes, cracked pie dish

Whether it’s a hit or miss

Mum can’t resist a bargain!


Wallet, purse – feel the pain

Credit card – takes the strain

January sales again

Mum can’t resist a bargain!


Marked down goods – grabs them all

Items big, items small

Our house: junk – wall-to-wall

MUM CAN’T RESIST A BARGAIN!

Things That Make Me Itch and Scratch

A stinging nettle on my leg

A feather tickling my ear

A spider crawling 'cross my head

A spiky cactus in my rear


The sight of mould on old blue cheese

A beetle in my bed at night

My hay fever that makes me sneeze

A woolly jumper clinging tight


The cat's tail brushed against my chin

The chicken pox that I could catch

The fluff and stuff inside my bin

All these things make me itch and scratch


Getting About

Some people choose to run

Some people choose to hike

Some choose a pair of roller-blades

A skateboard, horse or bike


Some people choose a bus

Some people choose a train

Some choose a tube, a tram or cab

A parachute or plane


Some people choose a truck

Some people choose their car

(Some choose to stay alone at home

Just happy where they are)


Some people choose a boat

Some people choose balloons

Some choose to ride a rocket ship

To take them to the Moon


Some people choose a sleigh

Some people choose to ski

Now tell me how do you prefer

To get from A to B?


Food Man

My ears are made of cauliflower

I've a pumpkin for my head

I've an orange carrot for my nose

Two long leeks for my legs

My fingers are all sausages

Green peas make up eyes

My body's one huge marrow

My toes are small french fries


Because I am the Food Man

Your yummy scrummy mate

So eat me and enjoy me

If I'm served up on your plate

Fast Food

I ran to the shops

And then I ran back

I ran to the gym

I ran round the track


While dressed in my shorts

Socks, trainers and vest

World records were set

‘Cos I am the best


I zoomed past the peas

The broccoli too

The beetroots were beat

All back of the queue


I overtook leeks

Left mushrooms for dead

The lettuces lost

While I raced ahead


The speediest veg

Fit, slim, lean and green

Catch me if you can

The fast runner bean

Grizzly Bear

I'm a grizzly, grizzly, grizzly bear

I grizzle over here

I grizzle over there

You're bound to hear me grizzle

If you see me anywhere

I'm a grizzly, grizzly, grizzly, grizzly bear


I grizzle in the shower

I grizzle in the bath

I grizzle for no reason

I grizzle for a laugh

I grizzle watching TV

And when resting in my lair

I'm a grizzly, grizzly, grizzly, grizzly bear


I grizzle every weekend

I grizzle weekdays too

I grizzle in the forest

I grizzle at the zoo

I'm sorry if my grizzling

Is giving you a scare

I'm a grizzly, grizzly, grizzly, grizzly bear


I grizzle when I'm shopping

Out hunting for my food

I grizzle with my bear friends

I'm a grizzly dude

I grizzle, grizzle, grizzle

I've got grizzling to spare

I'm a grizzly, grizzly, grizzly, grizzly bear


Monstrous Muddle

I'm the maker of the Monster

Victor Frankenstein you see

I'm the creature's crazed creator

Scary Monster? Never me!


Like Big Ben isn't the clock tower

But the bell sitting within

People mix me and the Monster

Though the Monster is just him


Yes, I'm muddled with the Monster

Many folk give him my name

Yet I'm human, he's a monster

We are different, not the same


So next time you read our story

Take very a careful look

Note who's me and who's the Monster

Found in Mary Shelley's book


A Pair of Pears

In the market I wanted some pears

Pointing at them I asked for two

“A pair please” I said

Thinking I meant ‘a pear’

The stallholder gave me only one pear


“No, I want two pears” I explained

Thinking I meant ‘two pairs’

The stallholder gave me three more pears

Leaving me with four pears


“Take back a pair” I requested

Thinking I meant 'a pear'

The stallholder took back one pear

Leaving me with three pears


“That’s a pear too many” I said

Thinking I meant ‘a pair’

The stallholder took back two pears

Leaving me with one pear


“But I want two pears!” I yelled

Thinking I meant ‘two pairs’

The stallholder gave me four more pears

Leaving me with five pears

Frustrated, I returned all the pears to the stallholder

And bought two oranges instead