Olive's Olives
Olive dislikes olives
But her friends find that confusing
So they still buy Olive olives
Which she doesn’t find amusing
Olive dislikes olives
But her friends find that confusing
So they still buy Olive olives
Which she doesn’t find amusing
I'm a grizzly, grizzly, grizzly bear
I grizzle over here
I grizzle over there
You're bound to hear me grizzle
If you see me anywhere
I'm a grizzly, grizzly, grizzly, grizzly bear
I grizzle in the shower
I grizzle in the bath
I grizzle for no reason
I grizzle for a laugh
I grizzle watching TV
And when resting in my lair
I'm a grizzly, grizzly, grizzly, grizzly bear
I grizzle every weekend
I grizzle weekdays too
I grizzle in the forest
I grizzle at the zoo
I'm sorry if my grizzling
Is giving you a scare
I'm a grizzly, grizzly, grizzly, grizzly bear
I grizzle when I'm shopping
Out hunting for my food
I grizzle with my bear friends
I'm a grizzly dude
I grizzle, grizzle, grizzle
I've got grizzling to spare
I'm a grizzly, grizzly, grizzly, grizzly bear
Monday: naan
Tuesday: brioche roll
Wednesday: bagel (don’t forget the hole)
Thursday: pita
Friday: dark rye
Saturday: sourdough’s the loaf I buy
Sunday: French stick (great with cheese spread)
Give us this day
our daily bread
I'm the maker of the Monster
Victor Frankenstein you see
I'm the creature's crazed creator
Scary Monster? Never me!
Like Big Ben isn't the clock tower
But the bell sitting within
People mix me and the Monster
Though the Monster is just him
Yes, I'm muddled with the Monster
Many folk give him my name
Yet I'm human, he's a monster
We are different, not the same
So next time you read our story
Take very a careful look
Note who's me and who's the Monster
Found in Mary Shelley's book
Mould on bread
Orange pips
Sweetcorn husks
Burnt bits of chips
Bacon rind
Olive stones
Apple cores
Fish heads, tails, bones
Melon peel
Peanut shells
Banana skins
Tea leaves as well
Wax cheese rind
Gristle on meat
Are parts of food I never eat
I go round and down
Round and down
Round and down
Round and down
Round and down
Round and down
Till my body hits the bottom
comes to a stop
And I feel like my stomach
is still at the top
Anticipation, off go the lights
Exciting music, spectacular sights
Action! Sci-fi! Comedy! Drama!
Wrapped in a perfect panorama
Popcorn! Nachos! Cola! Sweets!
Is there a better family treat?
Computer games and TV are totally cool
But a trip to the cinema’s the best thing of al
Mozzarella
Tortelloni
Pizza, pesto
Cannelloni
Panna cotta
Tortellini
Dolcelatte
Fettuccini
Ravioli
Rigatoni
Ciabatta
Macaroni
Gorgonzola
Cappelletti
Minestrone
And spaghetti
In the market I wanted some pears
Pointing at them I asked for two
“A pair please” I said
Thinking I meant ‘a pear’
The stallholder gave me only one pear
“No, I want two pears” I explained
Thinking I meant ‘two pairs’
The stallholder gave me three more pears
Leaving me with four pears
“Take back a pair” I requested
Thinking I meant 'a pear'
The stallholder took back one pear
Leaving me with three pears
“That’s a pear too many” I said
Thinking I meant ‘a pair’
The stallholder took back two pears
Leaving me with one pear
“But I want two pears!” I yelled
Thinking I meant ‘two pairs’
The stallholder gave me four more pears
Leaving me with five pears
Frustrated, I returned all the pears to the stallholder
And bought two oranges instead
Soopergirl’s had an upgrade
She’s stronger than before
She’s flying much, much faster
And she’s smarter that’s for sure
Beating twice as many villains
Saving twice as many worlds
So from now on we’ll all know her
As Sooperdoopergirl!
Did she hear a side-splitting joke?
Was there laughing gas under her seat?
Did someone pull a funny face
Or tickle both of her feet?
What caused this famous mystery
That has all art experts foxed?
When Leonardo da Vinci painted her
He wore nothing but his socks!
I can’t eat a microwave
Or a racing car
I can’t eat my pair of shorts
Or a shooting star
I can’t eat a bungalow
Or a paving stone
I can’t eat the Eiffel Tower
Or a garden gnome
Now I know you're thinking
That this poem’s absurd
But if you don’t like it
Then I can eat my words!
As I walked past a dustbin
It flapped its lid
And started to chat with me
Honest - it did!
“Potato peelings, dust, dirt, fluff
“Used toothpaste tubes, sticky stuff
“Broken glass, rotting socks
“Soggy cardboard, chunks of rocks
“Lumps of mud, grime, grease, oil
“Fish bones wrapped in silver foil…”
I interrupted, shaking my head
“You’re talking a load of rubbish!”
I said
I found seaweed in my sandwiches
Suncream splattered crisps
Waves washed away my apple
Sand stuck fast to my chips
Seagulls stole my sausage roll
A pigeon pecked my peach
Never eat a picnic
While sitting on the beach
If I was a mum
I'd be firm but fair
Let my children choose their clothes
And how to wear their hair
Buy them toys and books
Cook delicious meals
Take them on holidays
Nurse them when they're ill
If I was a mum
I'd carry on if times were tough
Forever put my family first
In our home that's built on love
Work hard every day
To give them all I could
I’d do everything
A perfect mother should
Yes, if I was a mum
I think I'd do real fine
‘Cos if I was a mum
I'd be just like MINE!
2 x 1 = 8
2 x 2 = 7
2 x 3 = 2
2 x 4 = 11
2 x 5 = 0
2 x 6 = 9
But Sir said
“Learn your tables
“and you'll do just fine”
Lots of holes in my cheese
In my cheese lots of holes
There are more holes than cheese
When I'm making cheese rolls
Where my cheese used to be
You will see empty space
As my Gouda has gone
Holes remain in its place
'Cos a mouse found its way
To my fridge at midnight
Had a huge cheesy feast
Taking bite after bite
Now I stare at thin air
At my cheese full of gaps
Feel displeased with my cheese
So I've written this rap
Lots of holes in my cheese
In my cheese lots of holes
There are more holes than cheese
When I'm making cheese rolls
I saw the ski jump
The side walk
The milk shake
The toilet roll
The lightning bolt
The ocean wave
The left turn
The right turn
The house fly
The nose run
The bus stop
The u bend
The pole vault
The raspberry ripple
And the rain
drop
I’m screaming and shrieking
At the sight of something shocking
My ice cream’s melting
Both my knees are knocking
Gloomy storm clouds gather
Sunshine turns to rain
I promise not to watch
A horror movie again
The vampires are biting
While the gremlins are attacking
My heartbeat's rapid
Noisy thunder's cracking
And a nightmare’s brewing
Deep down in my brain
I promise not to watch
A horror movie again
The banshees are howling
At the zombies stiffly walking
I drop my popcorn
Watching shadows stalking
Now there’s tap-tap-tapping
On the window pane…
I promise not to watch
A horror movie again*
(*Well, not until Halloween)
Does the word ‘Tyrannosaurus’ trouble you?
Does ‘cacophony’ cause much confusion?
Do you know the difference between ‘whale’ and ‘wail’
and the meaning of ‘collusion’?
Does ‘flummox’ leave you, well, flummoxed?
Does ‘carousel’ cause your brain to whirl?
Are you unsure if you use an ‘e’ or a ‘u’
as the fourth letter in ‘unfurl’?
Are you stuck spelling ‘syllable’, ‘sausage’
‘vacuum’ and ‘unnecessary’?
Then take a look
in that very special book
Go on - reach for a Dictionary