Without hot there's no cold
Without young there's no old
Without dark there's no light
Without wrong there's no right
Without short there's no long
Without weak there's no strong
Without good there's no bad
Without happy there's no sad
Without east there's no west
Without worst there's no best
Without truth there's no lie
Without live there's no die
Without sky there's no sea
Without you there's no me
The tarantula was the scariest
The orangutan was the hairiest
The giant snail was the slimiest
The hippopotamus was the grimiest
The cheetah was the sportiest
The meerkat was the naughtiest
The walrus was the funniest
The rabbit was the bunniest
The elephant was the strongest
The anaconda was the longest
The crocodile was the snappiest
The hyena was the happiest
The bat was the creepiest
The sloth was the sleepiest
The shrew was the smallest
The giraffe was the tallest
The peacock was the proudest
And the lion was the
LOUDEST!
When my doctor examined me, I gave her a start
'Cos although she searched she couldn't find my heart
She moved her stethoscope under my vest
Left, right, centre, over my chest
She looked all around, prodding my back
Down both sides and across my six-pack
She said to me “You're a very strange case
“This vital organ's not in the right place”
I replied “Doc – I know it's hard to believe
“But I wear my heart...upon my sleeve!”
You really caused me such a scare
I yelled, I screamed, lost half my hair
You should have warned me to beware
When you shouted “BOO!”
You made me nervous, full of fear
I cried aloud, I shed a tear
I stuck my fingers in both ears
When you shouted “BOO!”
You made me quiver, made me quake
You made me shiver, made me shake
From fast asleep, to wide awake
When you shouted “BOO!”
You sneaked inside my room at night
Hid in my cupboard, out of sight
Dressed as a ghost, in sheet of white
When you shouted “BOO!”
It’s not a clever thing to do
I jumped high like a kangaroo
So maybe tomorrow
...or the next day
...or the next day
...or the next day
I'll creep up on you
And then I'll shout “BOO!” too
I train in my trainers
Creep in my creepers
Tap in my tap shoes
Sneak in my sneakers
But I slide in my sliders
Slip in my slippers
Flop in my flip-flops
And flip in my flippers
Carrots nestle in my navel
Parsnips poke out of my nose
Cabbage hangs from both my earholes
Chicken's trapped between my toes
Peas are packed inside my pockets
Marrow's mashed in my left shoe
And I'm drowning in hot gravy
Help – I'm really in a stew!
You've worked very hard, with a massive brain ache
Any new lesson's far too much to take
Like the rest of your class, it's your time to unwind
The hot summer sunshine's distracting the mind
All tests are completed, reports handed out
Now holiday fun's what you're thinking about
Your teacher's exhausted, there's no more to learn
It's finally arrived – the last last day of term
Then the Head speaks these words that you don't want to hear
“See you in September - for another school year”
I’ve a message in a bottle
That I tossed into the sea
With these words I wrote upon it
‘Help! I'm shipwrecked - rescue me!’
It was swallowed by the currents
Of the sweeping, swirling tides
One small screwed up piece of paper
Praying for a prompt reply
From somebody showing pity
From somebody showing care
Who most certainly could save me
From this island - who knows where?
I am fed up, isolated
Every day is such a bore
On this land there's only sand
And when I look I see some more
I walk, paddle in the water
Sleep each night under a tree
Eat boiled beetles for my breakfast
Dried grass sandwiches for tea
So did my message cross the oceans
Through the sun, snow, wind and rain?
No I didn’t - I’m still stuck here
‘Cos it came straight back again ☹️
I can't fly high, tweet or sing
Hop in treetops, flap my wings
I certainty can't do those things
But I bet a toucan can
I bet a toucan can
I can't grab food with a bill
Perch upon your windowsill
Or nest in rainforests and chill
But I bet a toucan can
I bet a toucan can
I can't eat bugs – well would you?
Forage for some nuts to chew
But know a bird that can – guess who?
I bet a toucan can
I bet a toucan can
I bet a toucan can
Feet tapping ✔
Mind thinking ✔
Hands clapping ✔
Eyes blinking ✔
Voice talking ✔
VOICE SHOUTING! ✔
Legs walking ✔
Lips pouting ✔
Tongue licking ✔
Toes wiggling ✔
Fingers clicking ✔
Bottom jiggling ✔
Nose sniffing ✔
Teeth biting ✔
“Must try harder
“With hand writing” ✘
You can pop both tyres on my bike
Pop my rubber ring if you like
Pop my bouncy castle with a spike
But don't pop my poppadom!
You can pop the bubbles in my bath
Pop my airbed for a laugh
Pop out in winter with my coat and scarf
But don't pop my poppadom!
You can pop my balloon with a pin or fork
Pop to the shops if you want a walk
Pop Dad's Champagne by removing its cork
But don't pop my poppadom!
You pop my plastic beachball too
Pop my sausage on the barbecue
Even pop a pufferfish at the zoo
But what's the thing you must never do?
Don't pop my poppadom!
I have good news to shout about
I'd love to share it, yell it out
Hang huge banners outside my home
Send many messages from my phone
Place advertisements in the media
Create a page on Wikipedia
Carve it on my garden wall
Announce it to each class at school
Plaster posters down my street
Inform everyone I meet
Parents! Uncles! Aunts! Brothers!
Sisters! Grandfathers! Grandmothers!
Cousins! Friends! Neighbours as well!
BUT shhh - it’s a secret
So I'm not allowed to tell
Alleyways creep me out
Especially at night
Narrow serpentine twistiness
With a lonely lack of light
Dirty, filthy litter
Stinky, sickly smells
Encased by tall concrete walls
High fences as well
Alleyways creep me out
Turning corners blind
Shadows grow in front of me
Footsteps follow behind
Feeding an anxiety
Deep down in my gut
Next time I'll take the long way round
Avoiding the scary shortcut
*Stenophobia is a fear of narrow things or places such as corridors, hallways or alleyways
My carbon copy in plain sight
Your right's my left, your left's my right
Can you see me like I see you?
Am I forever in your view?
My mirror image - we're the same
I bet you even use my name
You have my body and my clothes
My face (hair, eyes, mouth, ears and nose)
Where are you if I turn away?
What do you do all night and day?
'Cos though you're pleasing to look at
Life must be boring as you're flat
With your world fixed inside a frame
Perhaps you'll tire of this game
Until a time I'm not about
When you shatter your glass...
And jump right out!
Olive eats omelette
Joey eats jam
Hattie eats halibut
Harry eats ham
Minah eats mushrooms
Rav eats rice
Femi eats frogs' legs
Insisting that they're nice
Jacob eats jelly
Pavel eats peas
Sonia eats celery
Charlie eats cheese
Pia eats pizza
(Cooked or raw!)
But Eddie eats anything
'Cos he's an omnivore
I'm often called the most boring shape of all
My body is as wide as it is tall
So my four sides look exactly the same
Other shapes laugh and call me names
My angles are identical - ninety degrees
You'll find me in your burger's slice of cheese
Rubik’s Cubes, waffles, building blocks
Chessboards, chocolate bars, a pizza box
And although I possess lines of symmetry
I wish I was an octagon but that was not to be
Instead I’m quite common and not really rare
My life is unexciting because…I'm a Square
Dentist
Football
Walk dog
MY BIRTHDAY!
Homework
Tidy room
Find out what’s happening Thursday
See Nan
Haircut
Computer gaming
Spelling test
Cinema
Tidy room (!)
Swimming
Well-earned rest
Buy new book
Sleepover
Feed cat
Visit to Zoo
Tidy room (!!)
When all done
Write new list of
Things to Do
I’ll make you think about something
Quiz, query and enquire
E.g. who, what, when, where, why, how
My aim is to inspire
I’ll help you unlock mysteries
Illuminate the dark
Your journey will begin with me
I am the question mark
Unlike my exclamation friend
Who shouts and screams a lot
Less common than the comma
And ubiquitous full stop
Please don’t use dashes, hyphens, brackets
But use me instead
I’ll set my puzzles for you
Then you’ll ponder, scratch your head
Found at the end of sentences
Found at the end of words
Though you might read them out aloud
I’m silent - never heard
If you’re hungry for knowledge
I’ll provide that vital spark
A perfect punctuation piece
I am the question mark
Who am I?
The quetion mark
In the mud, mud, mud
In the muck, muck, muck
In the murk, murk, murk
In the yuck, yuck, yuck
See us
Stomp, stomp, stomp!
In the swamp, swamp, swamp!
In the damp, damp, damp
In the bog, bog, bog
In the mist, mist, mist
In the fog, fog, fog
Hear us
Stomp, stomp, stomp!
In the swamp, swamp, swamp!
In the dirt, dirt, dirt
In the grime, grime, grime
In the sludge, sludge, sludge
In the slime, slime, slime
Smell us
Stomp, stomp, stomp!
In the swamp, swamp, swamp!
In the wet, wet, wet
In the rain, rain, rain
Until playtime ends
Once again, gain, gain
Join us
Stomp, stomp, stomp!
In the swamp, swamp, swamp!
Stomp, stomp, stomp!
In the swamp, swamp, swamp!
Do you sleep for hours
Watch movies on TV
Play computer games
Drink strong coffee and tea?
Do you party hard
Sing karaoke songs
Invent new punishments
For when kids do wrong?
Do you eat boxes of chocolates
Fresh cream cakes too
Hold fancy dress competitions
Or practise kung fu?
It's off limits for us children
So can you please answer this
What do teachers really do
In the staffroom, Miss?