Fast Food

I ran to the shops

And then I ran back

I ran to the gym

I ran round the track


While dressed in my shorts

Socks, trainers and vest

World records were set

‘Cos I am the best


I zoomed past the peas

The broccoli too

The beetroots were beat

All back of the queue


I overtook leeks

Left mushrooms for dead

The lettuces lost

While I raced ahead


The speediest veg

Fit, slim, lean and green

Catch me if you can

The fast runner bean

Grizzly Bear

I'm a grizzly, grizzly, grizzly bear

I grizzle over here

I grizzle over there

You're bound to hear me grizzle

If you see me anywhere

I'm a grizzly, grizzly, grizzly, grizzly bear


I grizzle in the shower

I grizzle in the bath

I grizzle for no reason

I grizzle for a laugh

I grizzle watching TV

And when resting in my lair

I'm a grizzly, grizzly, grizzly, grizzly bear


I grizzle every weekend

I grizzle weekdays too

I grizzle in the forest

I grizzle at the zoo

I'm sorry if my grizzling

Is giving you a scare

I'm a grizzly, grizzly, grizzly, grizzly bear


I grizzle when I'm shopping

Out hunting for my food

I grizzle with my bear friends

I'm a grizzly dude

I grizzle, grizzle, grizzle

I've got grizzling to spare

I'm a grizzly, grizzly, grizzly, grizzly bear


Monstrous Muddle

I'm the maker of the Monster

Victor Frankenstein you see

I'm the creature's crazed creator

Scary Monster? Never me!


Like Big Ben isn't the clock tower

But the bell sitting within

People mix me and the Monster

Though the Monster is just him


Yes, I'm muddled with the Monster

Many folk give him my name

Yet I'm human, he's a monster

We are different, not the same


So next time you read our story

Take very a careful look

Note who's me and who's the Monster

Found in Mary Shelley's book


A Pair of Pears

In the market I wanted some pears

Pointing at them I asked for two

“A pair please” I said

Thinking I meant ‘a pear’

The stallholder gave me only one pear


“No, I want two pears” I explained

Thinking I meant ‘two pairs’

The stallholder gave me three more pears

Leaving me with four pears


“Take back a pair” I requested

Thinking I meant 'a pear'

The stallholder took back one pear

Leaving me with three pears


“That’s a pear too many” I said

Thinking I meant ‘a pair’

The stallholder took back two pears

Leaving me with one pear


“But I want two pears!” I yelled

Thinking I meant ‘two pairs’

The stallholder gave me four more pears

Leaving me with five pears

Frustrated, I returned all the pears to the stallholder

And bought two oranges instead

If I Was a Mum

If I was a mum

I'd be firm but fair

Let my children choose their clothes

And how to wear their hair

Buy them toys and books

Cook delicious meals

Take them on holidays

Nurse them when they're ill


If I was a mum

I'd carry on if times were tough

Forever put my family first

In our home that's built on love

Work hard every day

To give them all I could

I’d do everything

A perfect mother should


Yes, if I was a mum

I think I'd do real fine

‘Cos if I was a mum

I'd be just like MINE!

Cheesy Poem

Lots of holes in my cheese

In my cheese lots of holes

There are more holes than cheese

When I'm making cheese rolls


Where my cheese used to be

You will see empty space

As my Gouda has gone

Holes remain in its place


'Cos a mouse found its way

To my fridge at midnight

Had a huge cheesy feast

Taking bite after bite


Now I stare at thin air

At my cheese full of gaps

Feel displeased with my cheese

So I've written this rap


Lots of holes in my cheese

In my cheese lots of holes

There are more holes than cheese

When I'm making cheese rolls