Love You Best

I love to cuddle my favourite teddy bear
I love walking round the house in just my underwear
I love the bit that’s remaining of my hair
Before he bombed Iraq I loved Tony Blair
But you’re the tip you’re the tops, you pass the acid test
‘Cause I love you best
I love the ear-splitting sound of the Wembley roar
When England score one, two, three or maybe more
I don’t love it when you snore and snore and snore and snore
I love a good Chinese meal - numbers 7, 21, 38 and 54
But you make my heart explode out of my chest
‘Cause I love you best
I love a hot chilli pepper to make me swelter and sweat
I love that sexy receptionist who works at the vet
I love to spend, spend, spend and get in serious debt
I love to Google myself on the Internet
But I meant what I said in that 103rd text
‘Cause I love you best
I love to get on my high horse and vent my spleen
I am an average bloke so I love to calculate the mean
I love to talk posh like Her Majesty the Queen
I love to sniff Tipp-Ex and snort Windolene
But you’re stuck in my brain in that skin-tight dress
‘Cause I love you best
I love to laugh in the face of the Nazi BNP
I love a 52-week a year holiday
I love to scoop the winning ticket in the Lottery
I love to have a date with Cheryl Cole in my diary
But I love you more I don’t love you less
Even wearing your wellies and a smelly string vest
Damn it girl I’m so impressed!
‘Cause I love you best