I lost my TEMPER
I watched it go
Where it ran off to
I’ll never know
I lost my TEMPER
With one LOUD SHOUT
Opened my mouth wide
Saw it JUMP out
I lost my TEMPER
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Heard the EXPLOSIONS
All round the room
I lost my TEMPER
When I got MAD
Had many TANTRUMS
But this was BAD
I lost my TEMPER
Waved it goodbye
Now I’m so sorry
I made you cry 😢😢😢
I want a dog to stroke and pat
I want a dog don't want a cat
A perfect pooch is what I need
Don't care what colour, size or breed
I want a dog it would be neat
A man's best friend to spoil and treat
We'd play at football in the park
He'd woof and growl and sniff and bark
I want a dog I cannot wait
This pet would be my new best mate
He'd shake and wag his fluffy tail
Between his teeth collect the mail
I want a dog a happy hound
To make me smile when I feel down
I'd teach him how to sit and stay
And always walk him twice a day
I want a dog I can call mine
I've saved up for the longest time
I want a dog that's what I said
Or maybe...
I'll just buy some sweets instead
He creates strange voices
Sound effects
Peculiar noises
With wild surprises
Shrieks of laughter
While we hope all stories end
Happy ever after
There are moments of intrigue
Thrills! Adventure! Action!
Gripping me like magnetic attraction
New ideas, new facts, new words, new places
Sharing some sad moments
But mainly wide smiling faces
And a closeness between us
That nothing can beat
When Dad reads to me at bedtime
Before lights out
Asleepzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
My senses are sharper than any wild cat's
I've tidied my bedroom in ten seconds flat
Completed my homework as well - just like that!
Don't call me on the phone
Cos I'm in the zone
A tricky maths problem I'll solve with great ease
I've taught myself French, Russian and Japanese
I'm buzzing much more than the busiest bees
Like a dog with a bone
Cos I'm in the zone
I'll run and win marathons beating the Flash
Create a computer from recycled trash
Record a hit song that's a number one smash
Concentration has grown
Cos I'm in the zone
I'll pilot a rocket – ZOOM! - up into space
Want poverty ended? Well I'm on the case
I love where I am in this most perfect place
I'm way out on my own
Cos I'm in the zone
The anti-tooth fairy
Won't make a single sound
She'll place teeth by your pillow case
Then pinch at least a pound
Such a nasty naughty sprite
Keep your money-box locked tight
The anti-tooth fairy
She’s miserable and mean
Not interested in dentistry
Just wants to rob you clean
Role reversal is her game
So she picked the perfect name
The anti-tooth fairy
Is wanted by the law
While you snore and while you snooze
Her pockets fill some more
Molars do not hold appeal
Rather find your cash to steal
The anti-tooth fairy
Leaves all the kids in tears
Shut your windows, bolt your doors
At night in case she’s near
Think of what this poem’s said
Or
…she’ll burgle
...you in
…bed!
He eats villains for lunch
When it comes to the crunch
Who's the pick of the bunch?
It's Metaphor Man
If your blue sky turns grey
He'll just blow it away
Who's that saving the day?
It's Metaphor Man
A dependable rock
Bound to come out on top
Who's the cream of the crop?
It's Metaphor Man
Stops bad guys in their tracks
Watching everyone's back
Who's the ace in the pack?
It's Metaphor Man
Who is truth?
Who is light?
Who is speed?
Who is might?
BOOM!
Who is live dynamite?
It's Metaphor Man
Whostolemyspacebar?
It’sthekeyIreallyneed
Coswithoutitmypoetry’s
Sodifficulttoread
I am a venus fly trap
And I like trapping flies
I wait until they move in close
Then give them a surprise
A bear is very hairy
A tortoise very tough
So I'll pick flies until I die
I'll never have enough
Some other smaller insects
I'll grab and gobble too
But as I'm born to feast on flies
They are my choice to chew
Unable to escape me
Once snapped up by my jaws
For breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner please
Serve flies forevermore
The clue is in my title
My favoured type of meat
I love fly wings, heads, bodies, legs
Their tiny tasty feet
Who cares that they're disgusting
Filled full of dirt and muck?
All yummy in my tummy
Even though you're yelling “Yuck!”
I am a venus fly trap
Now slinking off to bed
I don't consume flies when asleep
I dream of them instead
The oddest of obsessions
Yet what I'm built to do
And if the world runs out of flies
Beware - I might trap you!
There's a cheerful me who's happy
There's an upset me who's sad
There's a good me who's an angel
There's a monster me who's bad
There's a me who brims with confidence
There's an unsure me who's shy
There's a me who's ever honest
There's a me who always lies
There's a comic me who's funny
There's a serious me also
There's an early morning miserable me
You wouldn't want to know
There's a keen enthusiastic me
There's a me who's lax and lazy
There’s a quiet thoughtful me
There's an angry me who's crazy
There's a me who is so selfish
There's a me who is so kind
There are lost mes I've not seen in years
There are those I've yet to find
And each me’s an ingredient
For a special recipe
Cos when all mixed together
They're my personality
We said our twelve-times table
Mixed decimals and fractions
Made massive sugar crystals
Through chemical reactions
We studied many mini-beasts
And microscopic creatures
Were taught how to respect our friends
Our parents and our teachers
We climbed on frames in P.E.
Played boys v girls at football
At lunchtime I ate pasta
Then ice cream (that was real cool!)
Sir showed us some volcanic rocks
We spoke a bit of Spanish
Discovered most of Africa
Learnt why the T-rex vanished
Next up was comprehension
Along with two tough maths tests
In art we drew self-portraits
But mine looked such a huge mess
We watched a film on shooting stars
We visited the library
Did drama in the studio
Completed our day's diary
Returning home exhausted
I flopped out on the floor
Although Year 3 was a great place to be
I’m already preferring Year 4!
If you paint it
It will be sunshine yellow
If you drink it
It will feel like fizzy pop
If you meet it
It will keenly shake your hand
If you climb it
You will reach the top
If you eat it
It will taste so sugar sweet
If you hold it
It will give the warmest hug
If you chase it
It will lead you anywhere you want
That's the magic
Of the confidence bug
Be entertaining
Be inspiring
Leave them laughing
Keep them smiling
Help ‘serious’ vanish without a trace
And pull a funny face!
Roll your eyeballs
Mess your hair up
Flare your nostrils
Watch folk cheer up
Make an impression on the human race
And pull a funny face!
Be hysterical
Be hilarious
Grin and grimace
Act ridiculous
Look like an alien from outer space
And pull a funny face!
Poke your tongue out
Puff your cheeks too
Wiggle both ears
Shout “Moo, moo, moo!”
Show an expression of utter disgrace
And pull a funny face!
Be beguiling
Be pure potty
Stupid, silly
Dim, daft, dotty
The world will be a much happier place if you…
Pull a funny face!
If it’s true that people
Tie knots in Nottingham
Drive cars in Cardiff
Make glass in Glasgow
Ring bells in Belfast
Do less in Leicester
Drink water in Waterloo
Burn things in Burnley
Keep wolves in Wolverhampton, swans in Swansea, and eels in Ealing
Crawl in Crawley
Fall down in Falkirk
Bark in Barking (surely not?)
Read in Reading
Are born in Bournemouth
But live in Liverpool
Then what do they do in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?
Hi, it’s Conscience calling
The voice inside your head
When you’re doing something bad I’m shouting “Stop - try this instead!”
Your Jiminy Cricket
A bright flashing light
Showing you what’s wrong
And how to put it right
Hi, it’s Conscience calling
I swim around your brain
If you’re being nasty, mean I’m yelling “Don’t do that again!”
Your hidden advisor
A red danger sign
When you make mistakes
It’s me who’ll change your mind
Hi, it’s Conscience calling
I live between your ears
Though always invisible I’ve been your guide for many years
Your emergency brake
A friend ever wise
Helping you review, reflect, rethink
And revise
When I grow up I want to:
Empty a whole bag of marshmallows onto my breakfast cereal each day
Travel to Patagonia* by submarine (*that's in Argentina, South America)
Spell 'Caribbean' and ‘necessary’ correctly without having to use a spellchecker or a dictionary
Change my middle name to 'Superpoet'
Go to bed whenever I like
Get out of bed whenever I like
Be much taller (though my Nan always says, “The best things come in small packages.”)
Dye my hair with shocking pink and electric blue stripes
NEVER marry Gemma in Class 5 (although she keeps asking me to marry her)
Keep a pet anaconda called 'Ralf'
Have this poem published in a book
Become a millionaire so I can donate all my money to the world's poorest people
Become Prime Minister so I can pass a law making every other millionaire do the same
Be able to update this list at any time in the future
Now, what about YOU?
The pigs oink
The wolves howl
The tigers in the jungle growl
The crocodiles snap
The horses neigh
The birds tweet tweet then fly away
The dolphins click
The chickens cluck
“Quack, quack! Quack, quack!” reply the ducks
The snakes hiss
The bats screech
The mice all let out tiny squeaks
The frogs ribbit
The cows moo
But I say “Hi - how do you do?”
Although it sounds preposterous
I'm holidaying with the rhinoceros
'Cos the bullfrog's baking bagels
The wolf went with me last week
The possum prefers to stay at home
The buzzard's cleaning his beak
The pig smells worse than a rubbish tip
The same can be said of the skunk
The tapir's watching television
The dingo's definitely drunk
The ibex can't be bothered
The llama's incredibly lazy
The chimpanzee is stuck up a tree
The coypu's completely crazy
The zebra's practising zoomies
The bison's having a bath
The gannet has flown to the Isle of Thanet
The hyena simply laughs...and laughs...and laughs
The salmon's sleeping silently
The whale has moved to Wales
The walrus wanders aimlessly
And I'm NOT taking the snails
The termite's playing tennis
The wrasse is just relaxing
The loris and the sloth of course
Find travelling far too taxing
So I'm holidaying with the rhinoceros
Ridiculous you might think
But it's something that I must do now
As he soon could become extinct
Some are much harder to follow
Is often the most enjoyable and rewarding part of all
So you might have to think, analyse and dig a little bit
Some poems are easy to understand
But that unravelling
To find meaning, heart and soul
I've lost a tenth of my weight
My social life has shrunk by a third
I sleep for only a quarter of the night
I'm miserable for two-thirds of the day
I thought we were common denominators
But you left me
Now I'm half the man
I used to be
She curls up
She furls up
She snuggles and swirls up
Enjoying an afternoon nap
So furry
So purry
So cinnamon whirly
My fine feline friend on my lap