Sadness

When Sadness came around to play
He frightened Happiness away
He knocked me flat with just a punch
He ate my laughter for his lunch
He threatened me for far too long
As I surrendered he grew strong

When Sadness knocked upon my door
My heavy heart fell to the floor
Creating nighttime in my day
Why was he here? He wouldn't say
He squashed my spirit, zip and zest
My mean and uninvited guest

When Sadness sneaked into my room
He spread his sorrow, doom and gloom
My teardrops dripped down from my eyes
I couldn't fight him though I tried
He bullied me, he fuelled my fears
Then for no reason disappeared

I don't know when he'll next attack
But one thing's certain...he'll be back

The Dog Ate My Homework

The dog ate my homework Miss
At breakfast time today
I managed to complete it first
I'm sure I got top grade
He suddenly felt peckish
In one gulp wolfed it down
I can't hand in my homework
'Cause I have a hungry hound

The dog ate my homework Miss
He shredded it to bits
Then munched it, crunched it, lunched it
Sent it to the dark abyss
It's stuck inside his stomach
It nestles in his guts
I can't hand in my homework
'Cause my mutt has scoffed it up

The dog ate my homework Miss
I hate to break bad news
Preferred it to his dinner
And his biscuits, treats and chews
I'm begging you believe me
I'm telling you the truth
I can't hand in my homework
'Cause my pet's a piggish pooch

The dog ate my homework Miss
It's never coming back
My literacy, French, science
Art, geography and maths
He certainly is sorry
I hope you're fine with that
But think I'd better warn you...
I also own a greedy cat

Mum's Imaginary Menagerie

I don't get it
One minute Mum says I'm a cheeky MONKEY
Then I'm a greedy PIG
If I eat my veg though she reckons I'll be as strong as an OX
And as tall as a GIRAFFE

She moans that I'm like a SNAIL walking to school
And as stubborn as a MULE
I tidied my room on Sunday (yes, tidied my room!) and she referred to me as both an eager BEAVER and a busy BEE

She tells me not to run down the stairs like a herd of ELEPHANTS
But to be as quiet as a MOUSE instead
When Mum caught me reading in bed at midnight by torchlight she called me a sly FOX

At the dentist I was her brave little LION
So I left there as proud as a PEACOCK
She yells at my sister and me “Stop fighting like CAT and DOG!” (though I'm not sure which is which) 

I think
If I keep listening to Mum
Then maybe
I'll grow up to be a wise old OWL like her

Animals Can't Write Poetry

I tried hard to tame them
Teach them and train them
Was offering lessons for free
Though they woof, oink and howl
Roar, moo and miaow
Animals can't write poetry 

I planned to excite them
Thrill and ignite them
But sadly barked up the wrong tree
Though they might perform tricks
Give paws and give licks
Animals can't write poetry 

I passed paper and pen to a very keen hen
A thesaurus to a brontosaurus too
It was necessary to lend a rhyming dictionary
To a leopard at London Zoo
I rapped in time with sheep and swine
Read in rhythm to a gibbon I met
But if there's an animal that can write poetry
I still haven't found it yet

I hoped to inspire them
Guide, fuel and fire them
I took them to book shops with me
Though they bite, chew and gnaw
Scratch, tear, rip and claw
Animals can't write poetry 

I wanted to grow them
Sit down and show them
Develop their literacy
Though they might entertain
And have biggish brains
Animals can't write poetry 

If you gathered the animal kingdom together
You'd be disappointed because they would never
Never, never
Write poetry

My Armadillo Pillow

My armadillo pillow
Plays havoc with my head
It's scaly, lumpy, bumpy
I'm wanting soft instead

It gives me such a neck ache
I toss and turn all night
What's more it is a creature
That likes to scratch or bite

I know it is a strange thing
Unusual and rare
To rest upon a mammal
Whose claws catch in my hair

A kitten's kinda tiny
A puppy dog is too
A baby bear is bigger
Though can't break out the zoo

A cod could be quite slimy
A lion cub would roar
A monkey's far too funky
A piglet's prone to snore

But we've found a solution
That suits us both real swell
In bed my armadillo
Removes his outer shell
 

I Write

When I'm angry or feeling sad
I write!
When the news on TV is bad
I write!
When my train doesn't run on time
I write!
When I'm hooked on a crazy rhyme
I write!

When I visit a special place
I write!
When I want a smile on your face
I write!
When my fingers begin to twitch
I write!
When I suffer from writers' itch
I write!

When I can't speak the words I think
I write!
When my pen's fully charged with ink
I write!
When a rhythm's stuck in my head
I write!
Even when I'm asleep in bed
I write!

When I'm taking a morning shower
I write!
When I'm using my poet power
I write!
When inspired what do I do?
I write!
When I've something to say to you
I write!

Werewolf!

My big brother says he saw...

A werewolf in his bedroom
A werewolf at his door
A werewolf in our bathroom
That washed it's face and paws

He glimpsed it in our garage
And lounging on our lawn
On Wednesday night it watched TV
Then disappeared at dawn 

It slyly stalked our hallway
Until my parents SCREAMED!
It crept into our kitchen
To pinch a pot of cream

It tinkled in our toilet
Then wandered down our road
It growled and howled, made quite a row
While dressed up in my clothes

It stared back from my mirror
But now I'm most concerned
'Cause every time a full moon's out
I grow teeth, claws and fur...

We Want the Quagga!

(The quagga was a species of zebra, last seen at the end of the 1800s)

We want the quagga!
We want the quagga back
We miss his stripes
Of brown and white
He vanished just like that

We want the quagga!
Why did he disappear?
He seemed such fun
And hurt no-one
He's not been seen in years

We want the quagga!
Where did he wander to?
You won't spot him
In Swaziland
New Zealand or Peru

We want the quagga!
From South African plains
He'd quag and trot
Chew grass a lot
And shake his shaggy mane

We want the quagga!
No longer found in zoos
Although of course
Quite like a horse
A substitute won't do

We want the quagga!
So sadly hunted down
First he was chased
And then erased
Or moved to out of town

We want the quagga!
We love bears, wolves and yaks
Cows, camels, goats
Aardvarks and stoats
But want the quagga back!

Postcard

There's sunburn on my nose
Sand sticks between my toes
Sat by the pool
The ice cream's cool
No need for many clothes

It's thirty-three degrees
Warm waves lap to my knees
Think: sea bright blue
Beach barbecues
Huge coconuts on trees

I'm turning off my phone
Relaxing here alone
The sky's so clear
Wish you were here
I don't think I'll be home

Dissimiles

He was...
Hungry like a hat
As lazy as a lemon
Pompous like a pin
As monstrous as a melon

Cheeky like a chair
As queasy as a quetzal
Jealous like a germ
As puzzled as a pretzel

Timid like a tongue
As sensitive as slime
And silly like the similes
You're reading in this rhyme

Something Down the Plughole

There's something down the plughole
There's something down the sink
I felt a claw and saw a paw
While at the tap to drink

A weird and eerie creature
Composed of sludge and slime
It crawled up from the sewage pipe
And feeds on grease and grime

Emitting awful odours
It hasn't got a name
The Beastie from the Basin?
The Demon from the Drain?

Who knows if it is friendly
Or if it might attack?
Be careful when you're washing up
In case it wants a snack!

We pushed it with a plunger
We poked it with a knife
But still it stays, won't go away
The lurker in our pipe

We're hearing burps at midnight
We're hearing slurps at dawn
So enter our kitchen at your own risk
Don't say you've not been warned... 

Repetition!

A special 'call and response' performance poem to teach children the powerful literacy tool of...

When you say the same thing again and again
Repetition!

What sticks like super glue in your brain?
Repetition!

As annoying as a chorus of a song
Repetition!

Shout it out aloud and you can't go wrong
Repetition!

A slogan, a mantra, a hook or a chant
Repetition!

You try to ignore it yet you simply can't
Repetition!

All join together with a single voice
Repetition!

With restricted words it's a limited choice
Repetition!

By now you're probably feeling bored
Repetition!

But to keep this poet happy you know the score
Repetition!

Repetition, repetition, repetition
Repetition!

Art

Her body of buttons almost filled the page
Glitter glue splish-sploshed everywhere
Three eggy eyes were peeping through
Long messy spaghettiish hair

Sausage-shaped limbs, some fat, some thin
Were powered by a silver foil heart
I called this creature 'My Favourite Teacher'...
And got ten out of ten for art

My Mummy is a Mummy

My mummy is a mummy linen-wrapped from toe to head
She sleeps in a sarcophagus instead of in a bed
She's not keen on the daytime 'cause she's frightened of the light
The bits of her you'd recognise are hidden out of sight

While most of us use bandages for grazes and for cuts
She uses them for fashion and I think that's pretty nuts
Her fondness for Egyptian culture cannot be denied
Last week she bought a pyramid and made her home inside

My mummy is a mummy - it's incredible yet true
She hopes to meet the pharaohs, sphinx and Cleopatra too
It's very complicated when she’s taking baths or showers
Her skin's a mess and getting dressed can take her several hours

Though Mum says that it didn't hurt when she was first embalmed
She often finds it difficult to move her legs and arms
I shouted Dad "This is so mad and also it's not right"
But he’s not fussed 'cause he becomes...a werewolf every night!

Zebra Crossing

Look out! 
Zebra crossing!
Creating a fuss
He's bound to be hit by a car, bike or bus
Slowly he strolls
Over the road
Without any care for pedestrian codes

Look out! 
Zebra crossing!
Put him on a leash
He's stressing the drivers and giving them grief
Traffic has stopped
Vehicles form queues
How did he escape and break out of the zoo?

Look out! 
Zebra crossing!
Wears black and white stripes
Ignoring the law he just does what he likes
Swishing his tail
Shaking his mane
Forgetting he's not on the African plain

Look out! 
Zebra crossing!
It's chaos of course
Quite unlike a cow he resembles a horse
“Danger!” I cried
“Watch where you tread!"
“Hey zebra - please use zebra crossings instead!”

The Shape of Rainbows

Years ago the colours of the rainbow had a massive disagreement

RED felt he was most popular
“I am in the blood pumping through every human being and living creature
“None would survive without me”

ORANGE had a different opinion
“I share my name with the juiciest, healthiest fruit
“I must be the best”

YELLOW thought she was tops
“You see me in the sun that powers our solar system
“Remove me and everything would cease to exist”

GREEN claimed superiority
“I paint Mother Nature's trees and plants that cover our amazing planet
“I am life itself”

BLUE stated his importance
“Earth's magnificent oceans and vast skies would be nothing without me
“I am everywhere” 

INDIGO pressed her case for greatness
“People admire me for my air of mystery and beautiful looks
“Precious and rare – that's me”

VIOLET was not to be outdone
“I have a flower and many girls and women named after me
“Surely I am number one?” 

Unable to agree on this matter
The colours still argue to this day
So that's why rainbows are always... 
Shaped like a frown

When the Bell Goes

When the bell goes
The long day's ending
When the bell goes
Grab coats and bags

Thrilled and overjoyed
Making lots of noise
Running to the gates with all the other girls and boys

When the bell goes
We're so excited
When the bell goes
At half-past three

Hurrying for home
Chatting on our phones
Stopping at the ice cream van to buy a strawberry cone

When the bell goes
We're screaming, shouting
When the bell goes
We're crazy, nuts

Dashing down the streets
Sucking sticky sweets
Practising our rapping to the rhythms and the beats

When the bell goes
The lesson's finished
When the bell goes
We come alive

Jumping over walls
Breaking every rule
Doing lots of stuff we're not allowed to do at school

I don't care about anything
When I hear ring, ring, ring, ring
When the bell goes
When the bell goes
When the bell goes

Oxygen

Oxygen
Clear and light
Oxygen
Out of sight
Oxygen
Makes no sound
Oxygen
Floats around

Oxygen
Has no taste
Oxygen
None in space
Oxygen
On your tongue
Oxygen
In your lungs

Oxygen
Pure O2
Oxygen
Powers you
Oxygen
It's a gas
Oxygen
Little mass

Oxygen
Fills the air
Oxygen
Everywhere
Oxygen
We need it
Oxygen
We breathe it
Oxygen

Not hydrogen
Oxygen
Not helium
Oxygen
Not nitrogen
Oxygen
Oxygen
Oxygen

Dad's Chair

That's Dad's chair!
You can't sit there!
Find somewhere else instead
He thinks he's boss
He'll get real cross
And soon be seeing red

That's Dad's chair!
You can't sit there!
Go grab a different seat
'Cause that's Dad's throne
The place he owns
To rest his aching feet

That's Dad's chair!
You can't sit there!
It's our unwritten rule
For there he'll sleep
Watch TV, read
And chill out and be cool

That's Dad's chair!
You can't sit there!
I'm certain he'd agree
If you do not
Move from that spot
He might start World War Three

Now you can sit on...
The carpet
The rug
The stool
My lap
The table
The sofa
The bench
Or the cat

The bookcase
The cushion
The settee
The bed
The cupboard
The hearth
The mat
Or my head
Anywhere and everywhere but...
NEVER IN DAD'S CHAIR!

Our Teacher is a Caveman

Our teacher is a caveman

With long black scraggy beard

Although he is our fave man

He's wacky, wild and weird

Has limited vocabulary

Though great at ancient history

Knows nothing after 1 B.C.

Our teacher is a caveman

We call him Mr Ug-Ug

A hairy scary sight

He waves a wooden club and

Goes hunting every night

He's puzzled by the Internet

Keeps two tame pterodactyl pets

They really do confuse the vet

Our teacher is a caveman

He lives deep in the forest

With cave wife and cave child

He hands us spears to sharpen

And two sticks to make fire

Some say his brain is very small

Cannot use whiteboards, draws on walls

Come meet the school Neanderthal

Our teacher is a caveman

He's old than the ice age

At least that's what I've heard

His problem in the classroom?

Can't read or write a word

In maths lessons he counts with rocks

He owns a sundial but no clock

Check out his woolly mammoth socks

Our teacher is a caveman

Who cares if he's Palaeolithic?

We all think that he's terrific

Our teacher is a caveman